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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073816">Deja Vu</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunsetxStarlight/pseuds/SunsetxStarlight'>SunsetxStarlight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brenner is alive and very much evil, But trust me there will be so much comfort, El doesn't have her powers, Eleven has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Eleven has suffered some serious abuse, Eleven is kidnapped, Eleven | Jane Hopper Needs A Hug, Everything Hurts, F/M, Fluff and Angst, For real someone needs to give her a hug, Hopper is in the Upside Down, Hurt/Comfort, Mike Wheeler incessantly worries about El but that is just canon, Mystery, Panic Attacks, Please be careful reading this story it gets very dark and traumatic in many ways, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Mike Wheeler, Relapses, Takes place after the end of season 3 before the time skip, There is an element of, Torture, basically the time skip doesn't happen, friendship and family - Freeform, trigger warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:21:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,690</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunsetxStarlight/pseuds/SunsetxStarlight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"She started to think maybe that was all she was really good for: bringing danger and pain into the lives of everyone she loved."</p><p>Immediately after the Battle of Starcourt Eleven is grappling with the loss of Hopper when she mysteriously vanishes.  The gang quickly realizes that Dr. Martin Brenner is responsible and the race begins to find their Mage in fear that she may be gone forever.</p><p>Mike refuses to accept that El is simply bound to a life of suffering.</p><p>This is going to be full of Mileven with background Lumax and Jopper.</p><p>WEEKLY UPDATES!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers &amp; Eleven | Jane &amp; Dustin Henderson &amp; Maxine Mayfield &amp; Lucas Sinclair &amp; Mike Wheeler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>146</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Vanished</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I got this idea after I was rewatching ST and Kali mentioned that Brenner was probably still alive.  I have a feeling that eventually Eleven will end up facing him again and she'll end him for good.  So here is an angsty Hurt/Comfort fic to keep you all tied over until season 4!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>El barely had time to register the events of the day before her life once again erupted into madness.  The Mindflayer was gone once again and the gate was closed, but she wasn’t sure for how long that would last.  She was too tired to care.  When she saw Joyce’s face as she held her son close, El knew Hop wasn’t coming back.  She knew he would’ve been there to hold her close and kiss the top of her head and make all of the darkness disappear if he could, and he was nowhere to be seen.  But the reality that he was gone sliced deep into her soul like a hot blade, and she crumbled to the ground, unwilling to believe she was losing her only true father figure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El knew pain, and she knew loss.  It was just about all she had been familiar with before she found Hop...or before he found her.  But now that she had known the love of a father, a real father, it made it all the more painful to watch helplessly as one of the only people she could truly trust, was torn from her life almost as suddenly as he had entered it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t remember much after that.  There were hands, friendly ones.  Joyce, with her arms around her as she pounded the ground with her fist, feeling weak and furious and praying that she was in some kind of a dream.  Her cheeks were wet and her nose was running and she was sure she was shouting but she didn’t care.  The moment she entered anyone’s life, she put them in danger.  She started to think maybe that was all she was really good for: bringing danger and pain into the lives of everyone she loved.  And so she sobbed, because there was nothing else she could do.  Hop was gone and it was her fault all of the bad things were happening so she selfishly held onto Joyce for dear life.  She was vaguely aware of Will trying to comfort her too, but her vision was swimming and her head was pounding from the abuse of the last few days and her leg was throbbing and she wanted to go home.  But the more she thought of home the harder she cried because the thought of going back to the cabin without Hop seemed far worse than never returning to the cabin altogether.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, however, the physical pain and exhaustion wore on her until her vision started to waver and fade.  She blinked and clutched onto Mike as she tried to fight her descent into darkness.  Mike...when did Mike get here?  she wondered vacantly as her eyes drooped and she vaguely heard Mike calling for her to stay awake.  She tried for a moment.  But the darkness already had its grip on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike could only watch helplessly as his girlfriend sank into sleep.  When he heard her voice sobbing across the parking lot he ran to her, but she didn’t seem to notice.  She had been in her own world of grief, grappling with the loss of Chief Hopper so suddenly.  Mike wanted to cry too.  He had grown fond of Hopper, and he admired how hard Hop always worked to give El a good life.  The last time he saw the Chief before the battle in Starcourt, he had told them to be careful.  Mike knew in that moment any animosity the man had towards him was melting away.  But he wouldn’t be able to foster that bond because he was gone for good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now his girlfriend was fading out too and yet her arms were wrapped around him as if he was her lifeline.  For a moment their eyes met, and she whispered, “Mike?” as if she suddenly recognized his presence before going limp in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“El? El! Hey wake up...you’re okay...please?” he gently shook her form in spite of the panic rattling in his chest.  Why did she lose consciousness?  Was it her leg again?  Was it the grief?  Did it have to do with her loss of powers?  He didn’t know and it frightened him.  He went to nudge her further but Joyce stopped him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s probably just drained.  A lot happened today.  We should all get some sleep.”  Mike wanted to say more but Lucas put a hand on his shoulder and agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s gonna be okay.  I don’t think there’s anything more we can do.  Rest is what we all need.”  The rest of the party nodded including Will who simply stared down at El’s injured leg.  It didn’t look great.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Mike agreed and pressed a gentle kiss to El’s forehead before passing her off to Jonathan.  He knew Joyce would take her in.  It was the least she could do for Hopper given all he’d done for her to get Will back home safe.  He had also seen the soft way she had looked at Eleven back when they first met.  He saw how gentle she had been with her.  He knew deep down that she would be fine with Joyce, which took a little bit of his anxiety away.  There was nothing that woman wouldn’t do for her children.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he went home that night he couldn’t even begin to explain the situation to his parents, and he didn’t try.  It would be easier to pretend he was at the fair.  So for the moment, that was what he did.  He and Nancy returned home in near silence, unable to express what they had just experienced.  They shared a rare hug before splitting off to go to their rooms, and in that moment he thought of how thankful he was that he didn’t lose Nancy or any of his friends that night.  He could tell Nancy was thinking the same thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before they split apart Nancy spoke, “Hey...Mike.  I’m proud of you.  I know Dad doesn’t say it much, but you need to know.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> proud of you.  Everything you did tonight, for Eleven and your friends...I couldn’t be a prouder sister.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike felt his emotions betray him as tears pricked his eyes in response to his sister’s kind words.  He and Nancy had grown closer, and he knew it was likely because of the shared trauma, but he was grateful to know he always had someone in his corner.  “Thanks for...for always being there for me.”  It was all he could manage to say, because between his sickening worry for Eleven, and his complete physical and emotional exhaustion he couldn’t begin to process even more emotions without shattering completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Nancy didn’t need to hear anything else.  The siblings broke apart, and Nancy squeezed Mike’s shoulders reassuringly before they each headed to their rooms to process the events of the evening.  Whether or not they would be sleeping was up in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike peeled off his clothes and showered, washing the grime of the day off.  It felt good, standing under the hot water feeling like maybe the soapy water could erase the events of the day.  Maybe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was dry and changed and safely tucked into his bed he allowed his thoughts to wander back to his girlfriend.  Not that they left her entirely.  But he was especially concerned for her.  She wouldn’t be going home with Hop.  She’d be sleeping in a new bed, grieving her father and away from where Mike could help her if she needed anything.  He tried to silence his thoughts by reminding himself all she had endured as a child before the party even found her that night in the woods.  She would be fine.  He hoped.  He sincerely hoped.  Slowly his thoughts blurred together, and sleep claimed him too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El awakened in the car on the way back to the Byers’ house, feeling utterly drained.  She was in the back seat next to will who had his hand pressed to her wrist, seemingly keeping her pulse.  “Will?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey El...how do you feel?”  In that moment she became aware of her body, and groaned in response.  “Not great?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head.  It hurt to think.  Her head was still pounding, some from crying, some from the overexertion of her powers, some from the sheer pain and panic of the day.  Her muscles collectively cried for rest, and the ache in her left leg seemed to be pulsating.  She blinked the dizziness away from her eyes and croaked, “Going home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will nodded.  “Yeah.  Going home...you’re gonna stay with us now.  We’ll get a bed set up for you and everything.  They took care of your leg in the ambulance right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.  We can rest soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soon,” she repeated him, as she allowed her eyes to flutter shut once more, willingly shutting out the world for a moment longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She awoke once more when they arrived back at the Byers residence.  There was still a gaping hole in the roof, but they couldn’t fix that right now.  Eleven tried to get out of the car, but found that her steps were increasingly shaky.  Jonathan noticed this and swiftly scooped her up, which she was grateful for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the family entered the house, things started to blur for El.  Will left and she heard the water running in the bathroom.  He must have been showering.  The thought then occurred to her that she had mindflayer saliva, sweat, and blood caked on her skin and hair.  She wondered if she was supposed to bathe tonight, or if she’d even be able to on her own.  She didn’t have time to worry, though, because Jonathan took her to his room and moved the blankets with one hand before gently laying her down on the sheets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can sleep here until we can get you your own bed.”  She immediately tried to protest, but he stopped her by saying, “You’re injured.  I’ll do just fine on the couch.  Don’t worry about me at all.”  She looked at him gratefully.  “Get some sleep kiddo.  It’s been a rough day.”  He then smiled sadly at her before exiting the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moments later Joyce stepped in, giving her that motherly look that said everything was going to be okay.  She was holding a change of clothes and a bowl of water with a washcloth submerged.  “I figured it might be difficult for you to shower right now, but I’d hate for you to have to sleep covered in all of that.  I can help you clean up if that’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so she accepted the help.  She felt numb inside and exhausted in more ways than one.  It was nice to feel the warm washcloth against her skin, scrubbing away the grime that served as a reminder that this day was real.  She wanted to make it all disappear.  Once she was washed as well as she could be, and changed into a pair of Will’s shorts and Jonathan’s shirt, Joyce brought her a glass of water and kissed her forehead as she was tucked snugly under the covers.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will came in to say goodnight to her last.  He reached down and gave her a hug that she didn’t realize she needed.  “Thank you Will,” was all she could say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” was his response.  It made her brows furrow in confusion.  “None of this should have happened to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El shook her head.  She was the reason all of this happened in the first place.  She was the reason he got trapped in the Upsidedown and she was the reason he was possessed by the Mindflayer.  He wasn’t supposed to be apologizing to her right now.  “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is my fault.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“El don’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.  It’s okay.  I know it,” she tried to reassure Will as he looked suddenly concerned and that was the last thing she wanted her words to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Will only grew more upset at this.  “This isn’t your fault.  You never asked for what those sick people made you do.  You never wanted any of this.  You can’t blame yourself.  I don’t blame you.”  He sat on the edge of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt a rush of affection at his words.  Will was so kind.  She never understood how he could remain so kind when she was inadvertently the reason he got flashbacks and had nightmares.  Nevertheless she was grateful, and so she reached out and squeezed his hand.  “Friends don’t lie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friends don’t lie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that he hugged her once more, and turned out the light, leaving the door cracked open as he exited.  Finally, she allowed herself to sink into a deep dreamless slumber.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“MIKE!!!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce awoke with a start at the sound of an ear piercing scream.  This wasn’t unusual as Will occasionally had night terrors as of late, but she distinctly recognized this scream as El’s.  Before she knew what was happening her feet had already hit the floor and she was sprinting towards Jonathan’s room.  She heard another more muffled shout and a loud thud as she stumbled through the doorway.  But when she arrived the sheets were empty, and the window was open.  El was nowhere to be seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce felt the familiar blinding motherly panic rise up in her chest as her mind processed all of the possible things that could have happened to El.  She darted to the window, eyes scanning the darkness only to barely catch a windowless black van speeding into the darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart exploded in her chest.  She practically ran to the phone and began typing the number she knew so well.  She held the phone up to her ear as her heart pounded and her foot began to impatiently tap against the floorboards.  “What is taking him so-?” And then she paused. And then she remembered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her first instinct had been to call Hopper because he would know what to do.  He could find whoever took his daughter.  But he wasn’t here anymore, and a feeling of soul crushing grief fell on top of the twisted panic she felt for El.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom, what’s going on?” Jonathan was standing with his hand on her shoulder right next to a very tired looking Will.  Both of their features were also panic stricken.   THey must be terrified, she thought.  Shakily, she set down the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s El?” Will asked, his voice heavy with dread.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce could barely contain herself, “They took her-someone took her!  They just drove away in that stupid black van--the poor girl--and I tried to call Chief Hopper but he-” her voice caught in her throat.  She could feel her grip on her own sanity weakening, but she knew now wasn’t the time for that.  She couldn’t let her kids down.  Not now.  So she closed her eyes and took a long deep breath.  Jonathan was rubbing her back, and Will had a hand on her arm to keep her grounded.  She was thankful.  “El is gone.  Did you two hear her scream?  I got up as fast as I could but when I got to her room she was gone,” she shook her head as she spoke as if she could barely comprehend what had just happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will knew immediately who it was that took Eleven.  It had to be that disgusting Dr. Brenner.  Eleven had told him in whispers when they were hanging out late one night in the cabin that her trip to Chicago led her to believe Brenner was still alive.  Sure, she had told him in a tired reverie and had never mentioned it again, but he knew she had been serious.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s still out there...I can feel it,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> her words had given him chills.  They gave him chills now as he could hear her voice as clear now as it was then.  He was still alive, and he had come to take her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally he spoke up “Dr. Brenner...he was still alive.  It had to be him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he the one that-” Jonathan began but Will finished for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-Experimented on El throughout her entire childhood.  We need to get her away from him before she gets seriously hurt again!  She doesn’t have her powers to protect her right now.  Who knows what he might try to do!” Will burst, pacing and grabbing at his hair.  He could feel his lungs constricting and he tried to fight back the feeling of helplessness that was rising in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay let’s all relax for a moment and think this through,” Jonathan’s voice cut through his muddled thoughts, and he was extremely grateful.  “We still need to report this to the police.  We can get a hold of Murray and I can call Nancy.  Will can get a hold of the rest of his friends and I’m sure we can get Steve and Robin to help us figure this out.  The more minds we can get together the better we’ll be able to handle this situation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will nodded, silently urging his airways to release for just a moment.  He had to call his friends.  He had to call Mike.  Oh no.  He had to call </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mike</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Search Party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The party gets together to search for El.</p><p>Eleven comes to in her childhood nightmare.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for continuing to the second chapter!  Strap in for a roller coaster friends!  I hope you enjoy xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mike groaned as his Supercom went off.  “Mike, this is a code red. Over.”  There was a short pause and it went off again, “Mike, come in this is a code red! Over.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind hazy from sleep, Mike reached for his Supercom and responded, “Will? What’s going on it’s...like the middle of the night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eleven is missing! Over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of a sudden Mike was awake, cold and lucid.  “What?! Over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Dr. Brenner kidnapped her.  We all heard a scream but when we got to her room she was gone.  Can you tell the others?  Over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike felt like a bowling ball had just thudded right into his gut.  After everything that just happened she was missing?  He immediately ruled out the possibility that she ran away.  If she screamed there was no way she was trying to be secret.  Not to mention the extent of the damage done to her leg.  She wouldn’t get far if she tried to run away anyway.  So this was definitely a kidnapping.  He felt his insides twist at the thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she was back with her childhood tormentor…he felt physically sick.  It had taken forever for her to even begin to open up to him about the things they had done to her in the lab.  He had to build layers and layers of trust and employ some serious patience before she would even think of sharing.  That man had already done so much damage.  It wasn’t right...he couldn’t believe she was going to be subjected to that kind of torture again.  He couldn’t...he wouldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet this was the very possible reality he was faced with.  He remembered the man’s rigidly controlled expression that night in Hawkins Middle School as he held a terrified Eleven in his arms.  The memory caused a dangerous combination of rage and fear to bubble up in Mike’s chest.  No. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he came back to himself. His voice was hoarse, but his tone was resolute, “We’re gonna make that sick fuck pay.  I’ll call the others.  Over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was as if Will could sense the deadliness of his tone, because he paused before his final response, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’re gonna get him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Over.”</span>
</p><p><span>Mike immediately tried to calm his rapidly beating heart and racing mind as he commed Lucas and Dustin, alerting them of the code red.  He received two different reactions.  For Lucas it was, “You gotta be fucking kidding me.  </span><em><span>You’re serious?</span></em><span>  Shit you’re</span> <span>serious.  Okay we gotta move fast. Over.”  He sounded like a hardened war veteran.</span></p><p>
  <span>For Dustin it was, “Aw FUCK FUCKING SHIT!  You really mean-?  SHIT SHIT SHI-”  He forgot to say over, but Mike didn’t hold that against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Max’s reaction went like, “She’s gone?! Wait when did this happen?  </span>
  <em>
    <span>How the hell </span>
  </em>
  <span>are we gonna find her?  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  I’ll be there soon.  Over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon they’d all be meeting at the Byers’ to make a game plan, but until then as he flew downstairs and ran outside to his bike he couldn’t shake the sick feeling knotting its way in his stomach.  He kept going back a particular time, not even a month ago, when El opened up to him and effectively broke his heart at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They were sitting in Mike’s basement relaxing on the couch when he spotted a rather large curved scar on her wrist.  He was reasonably panicked.  “El...your wrist.  Did you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She looked up at him in utter confusion, her big brown doe eyes utterly unaware of the problem.  “My...wrist?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He stumbled over his words, “There’s um...there’s a scar and it looks-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her face immediately fell , “-Ugly,” she finished for him.  Mike suddenly wished he could take his words back.  That glassy far away look that he saw in her eyes every once in a while returned, and she noticeably hesitated.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He panicked for a moment, “No! No, no no not ugly!  I just...I got worried it seemed like...I mean if you don’t want to tell me...it’s okay,” but then he spotted her other wrist and he saw a matching set of scars there too.  He didn’t want to think she had harmed herself, but he would understand if she had.  She had certainly endured an awful lot.  “Just.  Um- if you’re hurting yourself or-or if you did I want you to know that I am here for you and-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p><em><span>“I didn’t do this.”</span></em><em><span><br/>
</span></em> <em><span>“What?”</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her glassy eyes met his own, “Papa cuffed my wrists when...when I was bad.  He did it after the shocks.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mike had to stop his mouth from gaping.  It felt like he had just received a sucker punch straight to the heart.  How could she talk about this like it was normal?  He couldn’t imagine what she wasn’t telling him, and that made his heart sink further.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>  Mike, overcome with emotion, gently grabbed one of her wrists and smoothed a finger over the curved white scars.  He felt his eyes burning but he didn’t have the strength to fight the tears.  So he gently took her wrists in his hands and looked her in the eyes.  She seemed a little far away, so he brought his lips down to the little white lines and placed feathery kisses all over her scars.  “You...are...beautiful.” His lips worked between his words.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When he looked back up at her he could see tears in her own eyes.  “Not ugly?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No. El, you could never be ugly,” he whispered as he watched a tear track down her cheek.  He lifted a hand to wipe it away, “Hurt. You were just hurt that’s all.  But that monster Brenner is gone now and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you like this ever again.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Promise?” She was breathless as she asked him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Promise.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had promised.  Friends don’t lie and he had promised.  That was something you were never ever supposed to break.  He felt sick and guilty and queasy, and he still had images of the Mindflayer dancing in his mind like phantoms, though he knew they were simply memories from earlier that night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to clear his mind as he rode through the darkness.  He tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shuffled nervously as his friends began arriving at the house.  Nancy arrived first followed by Steve and Robin.  Next, Lucas and Max arrived together, then Dustin and Mike.  As they all gathered in the living room under the stars discussion exploded faster than Will could keep track of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where is this Brenner fucker?  I’m gonna tear his face off,” Steve demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Others joined in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear if he lays a fucking hand on her I’ll-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think he’ll let her go when he finds out she doesn’t have powers anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if we never see her again?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ENOUGH!” Jonathan finally broke into the chaos, silencing the anxious group of misfits.  Will was thankful.  The commotion had been enough to effectively overwhelm him and he had felt his lungs beginning to constrict.  He was glad they had stopped bickering quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce then began to speak, “I’ve contacted the police department and they’ve sent patrols out looking for the van we saw.  I figured we could do some investigation of our own, though, since that has paid off in the past.  We...we can’t let this shake us right now.  I know everyone had a traumatic night, and I’m so sorry to do this to you all, but I can’t rest knowing she’s…” Will noticed his mother tearing up and he gently grabbed her hand in his.  She seemed to strengthen at this.  “-We’re going to get her back.  We don’t know if she’s managed to escape the vehicle.  We don’t know where she is.  I say we do a search of the woods, and everyone with cars should drive around Hawkins to see if you can spot the black van.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone nodded and began to split into search crews.  Steve, Robin, and Dustin decided to take Steve’s car.  Jonathan and Nancy took another car.  Will decided to join his mother, Lucas, Max, and Mike in searching the woods.  He wasn’t looking forward to it, his limbs still stiff and achy from earlier that evening.  Not to mention the immense exhaustion sinking into his bones.  But he knew El would do this for him.  In a moment of solidarity the crew nodded at each other and began their separate journeys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El groaned as her mind slowly stopped buzzing.  The first thing she noticed was a familiar sound.  A sickeningly familiar sound.  A dull buzz of fluorescent light panels hovering above her.  The garish light hit her eyelids, and she began to tremble violently in place.  In place.  What place?  With a start, she jolted, realizing she was no longer in Jonathan’s bed.  Peeling her eyes open and squinting against the light, it felt as though the air was sucked straight from her lungs.  All at once she became aware of her surroundings, of her body, of her position.  Her position cuffed to a sanitary metal table by her arms and ankles.  Her clothing was replaced by an all too familiar hospital gown leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M...Mike?” she tried to speak but her voice hardly managed the word.  This room...it was identical to the place she grew up in.  The sterile tile floors, the sickly greenish blue walls, the insufferable buzzing fluorescent lights.  No...no no no no she wasn’t here.  She couldn’t be here because she had been safe.  It had been over.  He was dead...he had to have been.  Kali couldn’t have been right...she couldn’t have been.  This must have been a nightmare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she couldn’t breathe.  She tried to slow her breaths but she found herself heaving and yanking against her bindings with reckless abandon.  Her mind flew to her powers and in a last ditch attempt to escape, she reached into her mind to break free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She focused hard on her bindings despite the ear splitting headache rattling her brain.  She practically begged them to break.  Please...please please please please please please-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But nothing moved.  That was when her eyes began to sting and her cheeks were flooded with salty tears as endless torturous memories flooded her system.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was also when a door creaked open and the man she had feared more than any monster entered the room in his slow, steady pace.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Papa.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you dear Eleven.  That was quite the game of hide and seek.  I think it's time we continued developing those special abilities of yours, yes?”  His thumb brushed away the tears on her cheeks.  “You’re going to be good now, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike felt completely hopeless by the time the sun came up.  They had searched all night, calling her name, driving around, searching the woods...and they made little progress.  He began to wonder if this was just how things ended for El.  Here one moment and gone the next forever.  He didn’t want to think that way, but every hour that passed made the circumstances look even more grim.  Another thought came to his mind.  If she had somehow escaped she was injured which would mean she likely couldn’t get far from her escape location.  He began to wonder if she had escaped somewhere outside of Hawkins but simply couldn’t make it home safely.  Even this hopeful thought wasn’t helpful as it added an entirely new set of fears into his mind.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An injured girl alone on the side of the road at night?  He shivered.  Not a better alternative.  Everyone returned back to their respective homes after meeting together once more at the Byers’ just to see if anyone had leads.  Mike surged with hope when he found out Nancy and Jonathan had found a van matching the description with no plate, on the side of the road, but there was nobody inside and it looked like it had been left behind.  They decided that if El had been in that vehicle, she was transferred to another before arriving at the secondary location.  That made it even more difficult to track them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce still reported the van to the police, though, because she figured the cops could lift prints from the car or maybe there would be evidence inside.  Nobody wanted to get their hopes up though, considering it could be a friendly stranger’s van that just happened to match the description.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still it was progress, even if it was little progress.  Before they all left for their homes they all shared an exhausted group hug.  Even in his tired haze Mike felt a rush of warmth at the display of affection.  In spite of the circumstances he had his friends by his side through thick and thin, and the love he held in his heart for them couldn’t be matched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he and Nancy returned home they were greeted by horribly anxious parents, but it was a small price to pay, Mike thought, when it came to El’s safety.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even as the party’s world was turned upside down, on the other side of the tightrope a single flea held on for dear life.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this one is such a mixed bag of experiences and emotions but it will get more straightforward soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Papa</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The flea struggles on the other side of the tightrope.</p>
<p>Eleven begins her descent into a the dark corner of her past.</p>
<p>*TRIGGER WARNING*--I would just like to reiterate that there is torture in this story. Please please please don't read if you believe you could possibly be triggered.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for the fantastic response to the first two chapters! This one definitely takes things a little darker...get ready folks because it's just beginning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hopper didn’t have any concept of how long he had been in the Upsidedown.  Everything had happened so quickly.  One moment he had accepted his death, gazing into Joyce’s eyes, nodding his final statement...and the next he found himself wandering through the empty Russian base, feeling colder, struggling to breathe.  When he first arrived he felt his skin grow hot and he thrust his fist into the wall with a desperate shout.  “DAMMIT!”  This was his fate?  This was how Chief Jim Hopper was going to die?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thought if he just kept walking he would find an entrance back into reality.  He wondered how long he could survive there.  Will had certainly lasted a long time.  He thought to himself, if the kid could last so could he.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His greatest regret was not knowing if El was okay.  Had she made it?  Was she still alive?  Did they close the gate in time?  Had he failed as a parent?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There weren’t any solid answers for him, and he seemed to have an infinite amount of time to contemplate the questions.  Well...the time he didn’t spend hiding.  Hop had gotten good at hiding.  The Demodogs, as the kids called them, were ruthless predators.  He had seen them tear into Bob Newby that horrible night.  He had seen how violent and cruel they could be with their seemingly infinite rows of teeth and insidious growl.  But at the end of the day, he viewed them like animals.  All they knew was to eat, and so they did.  Somehow that made things easier for Jim,  dumbing the Demodogs down to basic animal level.  That way he could try to outsmart them like animals.  That way he could pretend that someday he might just escape this hellhole. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He creeped down the shady blue halls and focused on his breathing as he went along.  He had discovered that the slower his pace the easier on his lungs it was to breathe in the warped atmosphere of the Upsidedown.  So he slowly made his way down the corridors, hoping to exit the mall and make his way back to the cabin.  When he heard nearby growls and howls he froze and searched for cover.  He wasn’t sure how long it would take before his body would simply give out like Will’s had begun to, or before he got eaten alive like Bob, but until he could find a way out this was his new life.  Stepping silently with a heavy feeling in his gut, he continued.  This was his present.  This was his future.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eleven laid shaking in her restraints as Papa spoke to her.  She didn’t even hear all of his words.  She was trying to pick up everything he was saying but her mind kept giving out because of the flashing sirens that kept going off in her head.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Get out</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they told her.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Get out get out get out get out-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now that’s awfully rude isn’t it?  You see your dear Papa after all these years and you don’t listen when I speak to you?  It seems like you’ve forgotten your manners Eleven.  You used to be so good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice struck something deep within her.  The fear of punishment, suddenly as raw today as it had always been.  “I-...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You need a reminder of what happens when you don’t listen to your Papa.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of her work on learning what to say in what context of conversation flew out the window when he was staring at her with those harsh eyes.  It was like she was a child once more who couldn’t withstand the weight of the words she spoke.  All she could manage to do was shake her head no.  No.  He didn’t need to remind her because she had spent so many nights remembering and all she wanted was to forget.  He grabbed a rubber mouthpiece out of a nearby drawer and she knew what was coming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shocks.  Not ever so bad that she ended up like her mother.  Always bad enough to make her nerves burst with pain.  She continued to shake her head rapidly as the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> got caught in her throat.  He thrust the piece of rubber into her mouth, and she bit down preemptively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope this reminds you what interest you should have in following the rules Eleven.”  Before she had time to respond to his words, the shocks began.  He pressed the electrodes into her arm first, sending sharp electric pains down her entire left arm.  She squeezed her eyes shut and a pained whimper escaped her throat seemingly of its own volition.  “Are you going to listen to me now Eleven?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She couldn’t respond to him because she was still trying to overcome the pain in her arm.  The mouthbreather didn’t turn the shocks off.  Eleven felt her face growing hot once more with anger and fear but she couldn’t do anything to respond to the man she had once trusted as her Papa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She couldn’t see him with her eyes squeezed shut, but she heard his next response, “I don’t want to have to do this to you Eleven.  I care so very deeply for you.  But until you are able to overcome your physical adversity to respond to me it is clear I have to send a more direct message.”  Her blood ran cold.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>No more please no more please-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He clicked the machine off and she released a breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding.  She then felt the electrodes being removed from her arm.  The muscles continued to twitch without her consent even after they were removed, and she tried to blink the tears out of her eyes so that she could see what he was doing next.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is for your own good Eleven.”  And for some reason those words hit her so deeply that all of the rage and frustration and fear of her childhood began to bubble up and over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She spit out the rubber mouthpiece, her breaths shallow.  “No.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Papa...</span>
  <em>
    <span>no not Papa</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Brenner, looked at her with deadly amazement in his eyes.  “No?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She summoned all of the courage it took to look him dead in the eyes.  “No, Brenner.” She wanted to say more.  She wanted to scream in his face, but she could barely bring herself to say what she had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked horribly disappointed in that moment, and she felt a wave of regret wash over her being like a cold bucket of water.  He pulled up her gown in a quick motion causing her to gasp and began attaching electrodes to her right thigh.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>More electrodes than usual</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think about this moment the next time you consider disobeying Papa.”  He shoved the rubber back into her mouth before flicking the switch back on, </span>
  <em>
    <span>much higher</span>
  </em>
  <span> than last time.  She convulsed in her spot.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A scream tore out of her throat this time, leaving it feeling scratchy and raw.  But she wasn’t ready to give up.  She wasn’t done standing up to him.  And so she used her pain as fuel to keep her focused, holding on desperately to her sanity.  Her vision blurred for just a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Papa loves you Eleven.  You can make Papa happy if you promise you’ll do as I say.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a final growl she shouted through her teeth that were digging harshly into the mouthpiece, “YOU. LIE!”  She got a rush of endorphins from shouting at him.  There were so many words she wanted to say.  So many she wished she could’ve said all of those years he tormented her.  She had now seen what love looked like and this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>NOT </span>
  </em>
  <span>love.  This was something much darker.  This was something far more painful.  He flicked the electricity off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She saw the moment he changed.  It would be imperceptible if she hadn’t had years of practice in discerning exactly what he wanted simply from the look on his usually composed almost friendly face.  The change may have been barely perceptible but it was clear to her, because his eyes darkened.  She had seen this look before.  She was truly deeply afraid of this look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ripped the electrodes from her twitching thigh and looked at her one last time.  “This is your chance to apologize to Papa.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“YOU!” she cried, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>YOU</span>
  </em>
  <span>, ARE NOT MY PAPA!” she fought her fear and leaned into the open wounds of her childhood.  How dare he call himself her Papa.  Hop was her father.  Hop took care of her.  He never hurt her.  Fathers weren’t supposed to hurt their daughters.  Hurt wasn’t love.  Hop had explained that to her the first night she had accidentally broken a cabinet with her powers.  She had been afraid he would hurt her because it was what she deserved, but he taught her that mistakes don’t justify the hurt.  She wanted to show him that she finally saw through his manipulative little tricks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But his face said it was too late for her to go back this time.  She realized that as he began to stick the electrodes to her injured leg.  “Wait! Wait!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were </span>
  <em>
    <span>very bad</span>
  </em>
  <span> Eleven.  This is what happens when you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” his voice was resolute and his eyes were set.  She messed up.  She realized this very quickly as she winced at the light sticking motion of the electrodes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked down at her leg.  This was the first time she was realizing he had removed the bandaging around her wound.  She shook her head as new tears surfaced.  It had been excruciating to extract the piece of the Mindflayer from her leg, and it had taken everything out of her to do so.  She couldn’t live that pain again.  She tried to bite it back, but couldn’t.  She released a shaky sob as she begged him with her eyes to change his mind just this once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When this is over you can apologize to Papa.  Then you will be good again.  I know you want that Eleven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he flipped the switch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper had finally made it out of the Russian base, which looked horribly eerie without anyone in it, and into the mall when he noticed what looked like thin red blood vessels flowing through the ground.  All at once they lit up bright red, pulsating and thrumming.  Pointing him in a clear direction out of the doors. He had no idea what made him want to follow the patterns.  Deep down he knew it could be a trap--some kind of lure for the Demogorgons to get their next meal.  But even deeper down he felt like he needed to follow these strange luminescent tendrils...like it mattered.  And so he reluctantly began out the doors, picking up his pace a bit only to fly behind a tree when a Demogorgon approached.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hid there behind the rather large oak tree for a moment while the horrifying creature prowled directly by him.  He held his breath and tried to press down the feeling of terror swirling in his chest and climbing to his throat.  As the Demodog approached, Hopper began to search for anything he could attack it with.  He wasn’t about to go out easy.  He found a loose branch and slowly moved to grab it, but the movement grabbed the attention of the vile creature.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His heart nearly stopped as it began to charge towards him, an unnatural animalistic cry flying from the grotesque creature’s flapped mouth.  He raised his branch to fight and braced for the impact, but to his absolute shock the Demodog suddenly collapsed in a seizing heap on top of the glowing vessels.  He froze, unsure what to make of it, the hair on the back of his neck standing straight up.  But then the pulsing red tendrils died down to a dull red, and the Demodog stumbled around for a moment before running away.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared in utter confusion in the direction the whining Demodog ran, and when it was absolutely safe he stepped back onto what used to be his path.  He wondered if the vessel-like structures were poisonous to the Demodogs somehow.  He decided, if that was the case, he could use that to survive.  Unsure of the purpose of the tendrils, he simply continued walking, stopping to hide every once in a while.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not a minute later, though,  the bright red tendrils began to glow and pulse once more.  This time Hop felt what he could only describe as his intuition telling him to follow the path they lit.  He continued along the path but once again the red glow died down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay...what’s going on?” he grumbled to himself.  The next time the blood vessel-like structures lit up Hop hesitantly bent down to touch it.  Immediately a blinding pain was clawed into his left calf and he let go of the tendril immediately, tumbling backwards on his rear end.   The pain disappeared as quickly as it had claimed him, and Hop was left staring in horror at the glowing tendrils.  His leg felt fine now, to the point where he started to question whether or not he had simply imagined the pain.  He ran a hand over his beard suspiciously.  Those tendrils,  whatever they were, he wasn’t supposed to touch them.  But he could walk on them with his boots.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Game over Demogorgons, I got you beat, Hop thought.  Or that’s what he thought until the sound of muffled sobbing began to softly echo in his ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Eleven</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And there you have it!  I wanted to play around with the Upsidedown a bit, so I hope you weren't bothered by my messing with canon.</p>
<p>Also guys I PROMISE there is Mileven coming you just have to hold out and it will be so soft.</p>
<p>Okay that's all haha!  Also your reviews have made me so happy and inspired me to write and get more up super fast, so if you'd like quick chapters that's always a great way for that to happen!</p>
<p>xoxo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mike struggles to sleep as he thinks about his missing girlfriend</p><p>Hop makes a discovery in the Upsidedown</p><p>Eleven reconciles her past and present imprisonment</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for being patient in waiting for this next chapter.  I've found myself pretty busy and had a bit of writer's block.  I know where this story is going now, I just needed to do some pondering.</p><p>Thank you for all of the lovely reviews this story has been getting! You guys really make my whole day!</p><p>ALSO there is reference to some heavy/sensitive topics here so I'll just drop a TRIGGER WARNING just in case.  Keep that in mind for this whole story--its going to make you uncomfortable at times.</p><p>On with the show-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mike couldn’t sleep.  He came home but he couldn’t sleep.  He was restless with the feeling that Eleven was in immediate danger and he had no way of preventing anything bad from happening to her.</p><p>He had always felt conflicted.  When he held her in his arms on those long nights when she couldn’t sleep herself, he thought of how useless he would be against the threats in her nightmares were they to materialize in front of them.  Who was he kidding?  She was the one with powers.  The most he could do was act as a very temporary human barrier between her and whatever threat had come to harm her.</p><p>And yet even that would be enough for him right now.  If only he could be wherever she was, available to give her the little he had in the way of protection.  At least then he would be able to say there was nothing left he could do.</p><p>Like when he thought for sure Billy was going to strangle El to death and he hit him as hard as he could with a pipe.  It hadn’t stopped him completely, but it had bought enough time for El to regain some strength and for everyone to get out alive.  Or, when Billy hit Max and he knew he couldn’t fight him off but he charged him anyway to protect both Max and El.  Sure, he hadn’t eliminated the problems either time but he had done all he could.</p><p>Right now, Mike felt like he was <em> not </em> doing all he could.  It didn’t help that he had such a vivid imagination.  It made him an excellent Dungeon Master in D&amp;D, and his English teacher told him he wrote wildly engaging stories.  But it currently meant that he was forced to sit and remember all of the little details El had breathlessly told him of her past abuse in the lab, and imagine the absolute horror of having to experience them again after tasting just a little bit of freedom.</p><p>He recalled their first trip to the pool together.  El had refused to get in the water.  It reminded her far too much of what she called “The Bath.”  It was where she had been when she originally opened the gate.  It was where they made her go when they wanted her to track someone.  She no longer needed the complete sensory deprivation to use her powers, so all the feeling of submersion did was bring back bad memories.</p><p>She had told them that after Dustin had threatened to throw her in the pool.  Little moments like this flooded Mike’s mind as sleep evaded him.</p><p>Or the time they had played flashlight tag and she needed to sit out, because hiding in dark tight spaces, getting chased, and having people jump out of nowhere had triggered a very sudden panic attack no one in the party had been prepared for.</p><p>And then there were the things she <em> didn’t </em> talk about.  Eleven didn’t like to be touched.  Not by strangers, not by friends, and certainly not suddenly.  But the biggest moment he began to notice something very wrong was when they were making out one summer night.  Hop had left them alone in the cabin to go grab some groceries, and Mike had been feeling adventurous.  </p><p>
  <em> They laid side by side in her bed and he had a hand on her cheek.  His raptor brain made him decide now was the time to make a move, and so he gently traced his fingers down her neck and over her shoulder, all the way down her rib cage to her hip.  She froze at his touch and flinched when his hand landed there.  He thought maybe it was out of excitement, but she broke the kiss and pulled away from him for a moment, looking distant.  Somewhere else.  He had immediately realized his mistake.  He mentally slapped himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh my gosh...I-I’m so sorry did I-?  Are you-?  Shit.  I didn’t mean to-” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I-…I just…I’m sorry...I-” she was searching for words she couldn’t seem to find.  Or words she wasn’t brave enough to say out loud.  “I...I just need…” she looked frustrated with herself.  She still wouldn’t look at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No...don’t be sorry it’s okay.  You need...to go slower?”  He tried to help her find the words. She nodded hesitantly.  “Was it the touching that bothered you?” She nodded again this time clearly embarrassed.  Mike hated that she felt like she was doing something wrong by trying to set boundaries.  He wondered what had happened in the lab that had led to that mindset, but he refused to force such a sensitive topic right now.  “How about...how about you tell me where my hands should go?  And I promise I won’t move them unless you tell me to.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Promise?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You have my word El.  I don’t want to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable.  You get to choose where and how you’re allowed to be touched.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I...I do?”  She finally found the confidence to meet his eyes.  The genuine innocent confusion in her gaze made his heart ache. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You do.  And anyone who says you don’t is a liar.” Mike felt his face heat up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Friends don’t lie,” She repeated dutifully, nodding her head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He nodded, but his heart was in his throat.  She may not have outright told him anything specific that had happened to her, but the implications of her behavior left his mind unsettled.  He hesitated a moment as he contemplated how he was going to explain the concept of consent to her.  She seemed to notice this hesitation and reached for his hand.  He gladly let her take it.  “Eleven...I-I want you to listen to me...if you remember anything from tonight just…” he stuttered, absentmindedly smoothing his thumb over the top of her hand,“If anyone tries to touch you and you say no, they have to stop.  Those are the rules—those are the laws.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She looked at him sheepishly with a hung head, shame quickly reading on her face, “What if...what if they don’t stop?”  Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her.  His mouth went dry. </em>
</p><p><em> “If...if they don’t stop when you tell them to, they are </em> <b> <em>not</em> </b> <em> your friend, okay?  They are bad and you shouldn’t trust them.” He watched her expression shift as he told her, “-And...and it’s </em> <b> <em>never</em> </b> <em> your fault if someone...if they don’t stop when you tell them to.” </em></p><p>
  <em> She lifted her head with wide hopeful eyes before whispering, “Not my fault?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Never your fault.” </em>
</p><p>After that they had decided to watch a movie to lighten the mood a bit.  They had enjoyed a comedy under the watchful eye of Chief Hopper.  She seemed a little lighter...a little more free before he had left for home that night.  It made him feel good that what he had said had helped her in some way, but at the same time it left him with a gut wrenching kind of sadness he couldn’t explain.  The way she had seemed so astounded to find out she had complete control over how she was allowed to be touched… It had made him want to burn that old lab down to the ground and erase anything and everything that happened there.</p><p>Now, as he laid alone in his bedroom filled with unease, he tossed and turned, feeling that same gut wrenching sadness in the pit of his stomach with the knowledge that she was back under the control of the very man who had raised her to blame herself for the atrocities committed against her.</p><p>He accepted that sleep wasn’t going to come for him that night.</p><p>*</p><p>Hopper heard sobbing.  Not just anyone sobbing.  He <em> knew </em> deep in his gut that it was Eleven, and his parental instincts flared up.  He looked down at the ground and noticed that the dull glow of the twisted vessels pulsed along with the sound of the sobs.  <em> Where was she? </em></p><p>“El?”  he asked in a hushed voice, a little nervous that a Demodog would hear him and come to rip his face off.  “Eleven?”</p><p>He received no response but the sobbing continued.  He looked back down at the pulsing red tendrils.  As quickly as he could, Hopper squatted down by the tendrils and stared for a moment.  He didn’t know why he felt like he needed to touch it again...but nevertheless he reached his hand out once more to touch the tendril below him, preparing to feel that same shooting pain as last time.  Though, this time the vessel wasn’t flashing bright red.  Now it was a dull glow.</p><p>As his fingers made contact with the slimy tendril his senses suddenly went blank, and then a flash of bright light nearly blinded him.  When he opened his eyes, he went stone still<em> . </em>  Ice ran through his veins.  Clear as day, his daughter was in front of him, but it wasn’t a cause for celebration.  This father didn’t sigh in relief that she was alive.  He nearly choked on his own breath as he stared at the horribly broken image of his precious daughter.</p><p>She was cuffed to a metal table and crying her eyes out as someone he recognized pulled what looked like electrodes off of her horribly injured leg.  <em>The sick and disgusting</em> <em>Dr. Martin Brenner.</em>  She was violently twitching and sobbing and...and apologizing?  He listened in closely…even his heartbeat seemingly coming to a halt.</p><p>“I’m...I’m…” she sniffled, “I’m so sorry...I’m so so sorry...forgive-” she had to stop to suck in a deep breath amidst her tears, “-Please...please forgive me…Papa...” she sputtered and gasped for air between words.  Hopper could feel the inconsolable rage churning and brewing deep down inside of him.</p><p>“Shhh...your Papa loves you.” Brenner stood and leaned over Eleven, pressing a hand to her wet cheek as he spoke,  “You are forgiven sweet Eleven.  You are <em> good </em>again.”  But Hop couldn’t stand still any longer.  His whole body tensed in preparation to charge at Brenner and take him down, but he was suddenly thrust back to his own reality in the toxic atmosphere of the Upsidedown.  He stood and stumbled backwards as the images flew from his eyes.</p><p>He no longer cared if the Demogorgons heard him, “MOTHERFUCKER!”  A fire burnt in his chest, and he shouted as he chucked his branch as far as it would go into the woods.  But all at once he realized how helpless he was and his throat began to close up.  His hands flew to his face and he grabbed at his hair.  He wasn’t the kind of man who liked to show emotion, but he was all alone in this hellhole, and that was his little girl he just saw shaking and sobbing and clearly hurting in a hospital gown due to that sick motherfucker Brenner.  “Dammit…” he grumbled as he felt a familiar sting in his eyes.  He tried to will it away no matter how painful that task was.</p><p>He refused to give into the feeling of hopelessness right now.  He glanced back down at the dull glow of the tendril he had just touched.  Clearly it was connected to Eleven somehow...clearly <em> she </em> was connected to the Upsidedown somehow.  Hop closed his eyes and sighed, silently asking himself how in the world he was supposed to help his daughter if he didn’t even know where she was.  Maybe she was trying to contact him through the Upsidedown somehow, even if she didn’t realize it.  Maybe that was why the tendrils were guiding him.  “Okay kid,” he mumbled, “I’m gonna trust you on this...just don’t get me killed.”</p><p>He continued through the woods, trying to ignore the screeching of starving Demogorgons in the distance.  He would never get used to that sound.</p><p>*</p><p>Her body was a battleground.  Eleven couldn’t relax her muscles.  They continued to twitch and seize involuntarily as her vision was blurred with her own tears.  He stood above her with his hand on her cheek as she apologized profusely for disobeying him.  What she hated the most was how <em> sincerely </em> she really was sorry.  Not because she didn’t believe the things she said to him.</p><p>No, she had meant every word she told him.  She was sorry because she realized that she simply wouldn’t survive if she continued to embody the defiance she had dared to display only moments before.  And so she stopped trying to be strong, and she allowed the pain and anxiety to overflow into her blubbering exterior.  Maybe he’d take pity on her now that he put her through this much pain so quickly after seeing her again.</p><p>What she <em> really hated </em> was the little swell of pride that bubbled in her chest when he said she was <em> good </em> again.  After being tortured when she was already weak and injured, there was an underlying feeling that somehow she deserved everything that was happening to her.  Or else why would these horrible things happen?  Surely she deserved it in some capacity.  It was also a very real possibility that she would <em> never </em>see Mike or Joyce or Will or Lucas or Max or Dustin or anyone ever again.  It hit her as she cried that she could be looking at her future.</p><p>She didn’t have powers to break her out this time.  All at once a very new fear began to rise.  What would happen to her if she couldn’t use her powers ever again?  Would they kill her?  Would force her to do things she physically couldn’t do?  What would happen when she couldn’t do them?</p><p>But right now she couldn’t think about that, because she was hurting and Papa was being gentle.  This was the side of him she had tried keep from missing, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t eliminate the childlike attachment to what was once her only concept of a father figure.  She knew now that Papa was evil…but when he spoke to her in that calm sweet voice…</p><p>Eleven fell into the familiarity of her toxic bond with Brenner.  She believed that in his own twisted way he really did love her, and even though he hurt her, that thought brought her a very corrupt form of comfort. </p><p>“-I’m...I’m <em> good </em> again?” She sniffled.</p><p>“Yes, dear sweet Eleven you are <em> good </em>again.  How about we take care of that leg of yours huh?” His gaze was soft...almost fatherly.  He looked at her in that moment the way Hopper usually looked at her.  But there was still something unsettling about the way Papa did it.  There was a danger in Papa that wasn’t present with Hop.  Because Papa could flip and punish her at any moment and Hop never laid a hand on her.  She missed Hopper…she missed him so much.</p><p>Tears continued to stream down her face as Papa pulled out what looked like a medical kit and began to cleanse her twitching left leg.  She closed her eyes, willing the world away and retreating into her mind.  She didn’t come back to herself until he had finished, and her leg was once more wrapped and bandaged and her muscles were only seizing once every ten seconds.</p><p>“You need to sleep now, Eleven,” his voice brought her back.  Her eyes fluttered open again and the bright light intensified her pounding headache.</p><p>“I can sleep now?”</p><p>“Yes, very very soon.”  He reached for a syringe and pressed a clear liquid into her arm.  She didn’t even mind the prick of the needle.  Then he released the cuffs from her arms and legs, and she wiggled her hands to increase the blood flow to her fingertips.  She tried to move to stand, but she realized very quickly that her shaking limbs would not comply with that request.</p><p>Papa saw this and swiftly scooped her into his arms.  He didn’t feel quite as large and all encompassing like he had when she was a child.  But he <em> was </em> strong, and she allowed herself to be held, even if it was by a man she despised.  She needed to be held right now, and she selfishly tucked her head into his shoulder as he carried her.</p><p>As he took her down bare hallways that looked both like those of her childhood and also somehow different, she felt her eyelids grow increasingly heavier.  She struggled to even lift a finger.  Her whole body grew numb.  “It’s okay Eleven.  You can sleep.”</p><p>That’s when she sank into darkness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So as you can see we are delving into the psyche of a child who has an attachment to an adult, and the conflict of wanting to love that person in spite of knowing they don't deserve it.  I'd really like to explore some of that with El, and how she views Brenner's actions now vs when she didn't know any better as a little kid.  It might take a minute but Mike is going to get heavily involved once a certain something is discovered!</p><p>Thank you guys for reading, and feel free to let me know what you liked, would like to see, or how you feel!  Love you guys!'</p><p>-SunStar</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Body</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The police make a discovery.<br/>Mike doesn't feel right about it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really appreciate all of the support ya'll have given this story! I'm so sorry this chapter took so long--I've been dealing with some mental health stuff, but I promise I am still very dedicated to this fic!  Regular updates to come!</p>
<p>Also TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of various types of violence, so please be aware going in.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It had been a week.  Mike spent an entire week panicking over his Mage...tossing and turning in his sleep, hearing her scream in his dreams.  The entire party tried to keep their sanity, but no one was doing well.  Max especially, Lucas had told him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was lost in grief after losing her brother, and then her best friend.  She wasn’t her usual self when the party met up, and Mike could understand why because he was told by Dustin that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn’t his normal self.  But how was he supposed to stay calm when he saw the news reporter talking about the disappearance of his girlfriend?  How was he supposed to laugh and have fun when her picture was displayed on the television screen, declared missing for all of Hawkins to see?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mother tried to comfort him.  She had liked El an awful lot.  She was much better than the bad-news boys Nancy used to hang around with, she had liked to joke to him.  So when she found out El was missing she immediately reached out to comfort Mike.  He appreciated the way his mother tried as a parent.  She hadn’t always been attentive, but she always tried her hardest and she </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> care deeply for him, Nancy, and Holly.  He knew that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the last week she had tried to cheer him up in different ways.  She bought him a new Atari game he had begged her for a month ago.  She invited the party over for a movie night.  It wasn’t the same without El.  She even stocked the house with his favorite snacks, which he had to admit he was grateful for.  She had tried to talk to him about what he was going through, but he couldn’t.  Because every day that passed meant that the chances of finding Eleven began to plummet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took a whole week, and then suddenly, somehow, things got worse.  Mike was in his room, talking on the supercom with Lucas when he heard something shatter downstairs.  An instant later he heard his name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mike</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” his mother called, her voice decidedly panicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gotta go Lucas something’s wrong, over!” he hurriedly spoke before launching himself off his bed and hurrying down the stairs.  As he turned the corner and peered into the kitchen he saw his mother standing in a mess of coffee and broken glass, her eyes glued to the television screen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom?” he asked anxiously as he approached her, careful not to step on any broken ceramic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned to him and her expression terrified him.  She had tears in her eyes and she shook her head as she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.  This made his adrenaline surge.  “Mike, honey…” she shook her head once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom...what’s wrong?” he asked urgently, his voice wavering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your friend...your girlfriend.  They-” she sucked in an uneasy breath as she wiped tears from her eyes.  “They found her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at her in disbelief.  Her words were good--they had found her, and that was all he wanted, all he wished for, for the last week.  But his mother’s face was pale as though she’d seen one of the ghosts from the paranormal movies he liked to watch.  Something was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned towards the television just in time to be met with a picture of a taped off crime scene, and his girlfriend’s name splayed across the screen.  It was as if his lungs forgot how to function and his feet moved on their own as he rushed to the TV, his vision already blurring.  He listened as the news anchor spoke:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-appeared to have been raped and murdered.  The body of Jane Hopper was recovered from the crime scene late last night.  Police found the girl with several fatal injuries including eight stab wounds and heavy bruising of the head and neck, dead, on the side of the road.  The mayor sent out a public message urging children and teenagers to </span>
  <em>
    <span>stay home</span>
  </em>
  <span> while the authorities hunt for the killer…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he couldn’t listen to any more.  Her picture popped up on the screen.  It was one his family had provided for when they were searching for her.  It was from the night she had come to their home for one of their movie nights and his mom had insisted on taking pictures.  As he stared at her smiling face his throat tightened up.  “No,” he could barely whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just then the phone started ringing.  His mother picked up.  He kept looking at the screen, at El’s happy face, juxtaposed against a bloody stain on the side of the road surrounded with yellow tape.  This didn’t make sense.  They found her body but...everyone had been so sure she had been taken by Brenner.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> had been sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello, this is Karen Wheeler.  Yes... of course.  Mike, honey?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned and his mother held the phone out for him to take it.  Her eyes were still red.  He got up on wobbly legs and took the phone from his mom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?” he croaked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mike!  Did you see the news?” It was Dustin, and he sounded like he was crying too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need a group meeting,” he hiccuped, “Now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike nodded though he knew Dustin couldn’t see him.  He wasn’t entirely in his own body.  “Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not even ten minutes later the party was sitting in Mike’s basement with a box of tissues.  Mike paced as Max cried in Lucas’ arms.  Will looked sick, and Dustin kept putting his face in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just...I don’t believe it,” Mike gesticulated wildly with his arms as he paced.  “I thought she was…” he sucked in a shaky breath through his tears, “thought she was taken by Brenner.  This-this just doesn’t make any sense!” he ran his hands through his thick mop of hair and dug his nails into his scalp.  “It just makes no sense that...I mean how could some random creep be responsible?  I don’t believe it.  She’s still alive.” his stomach never stopped churning as he spoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Max shook in Lucas’ arms.  “I thought Brenner was dead!  It had to be some random creep cause...you all told me he was eaten by the Demogorgon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But...she told me she knew deep down he was still alive,” Mike whispered, aggressively wiping away his tears. “After she came back from Chicago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will jumped in, “What if the body isn’t real?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Dustin asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean...they ‘found’ my body when I was in the Upside Down but it wasn’t real.  I talked to Mom before I left and she doesn’t believe she’s dead.”  Will still looked sick as he spoke.  His eyes were far away.  He looked deeply troubled but not by grief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s insane,” Lucas sniffled as he rubbed Max’s back.  “Am I the only one who heard the news report?  That’s some graphic shit...you can’t just walk up to the police and tell them to make something like that up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike shook his head, “But we haven’t seen the body.  What if...what if she </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> still alive and this is like Will?   What if it’s like a coverup or something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s got a point,” Dustin mumbled, “What if Brenner really is alive?  What if this </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>some freaky government coverup?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Max exploded, “Why do you all think this is so unrealistic?!” she sputtered, clutching onto Lucas like he was her lifeline.  “You fight monsters from another dimension and </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the most unbelievable thing you come across?!  This is the kind of shit women have to worry </span>
  <em>
    <span>about all the fucking time!</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Maybe it’s hard for you numbskulls to understand because you don’t experience grown ass men giving you bedroom eyes when you’re just trying to shop with your friends, but the kind of men who would do this to someone like Eleven exist!  And somehow it feels so wrong that our friend was </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you are all fucking criticizing the details,” and finally the anger disappated from her eyes and devastation replaced it, “After everything she did for us…” she sobbed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone was taken aback, and Lucas pressed a kiss to Max’s temple as she shook.  For a moment Mike considered her words.  They had struck a chord within him, because he hadn’t even stopped to think about creepy looks from strangers being a part of growing up for women.  It made him feel queasy to think about, and left a bad taste in his mouth.  But Mike </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> believe what the news said was true.  If everyone had simply accepted Will’s death then maybe Will wouldn’t be sitting here today.  And then another thought came to his mind, “I know there are creeps in the world but...El has </span>
  <em>
    <span>powers.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  There’s no way any normal person would be able to do all of-...I mean there’s no doubt, she’d kill him first!  It would have to be Brenner because-” he found himself stuttering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Max was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> about to let him finish that sentence, “-YOU are the one who kept reminding us she’s not a machine!  She couldn’t even use her powers by the end of the night because of whatever the Mindflayer did to her!  Do you honestly think after everything that happened she was in any shape to fight?” She was exasperated.  “Look...I know you just want her to be alive...you have </span>
  <em>
    <span>no idea</span>
  </em>
  <span> how badly I want to believe she’s still out there.  But I don’t find it hard to believe that...that maybe some sick creep saw her in the parking lot at Starcourt and followed her home.  It was a horribly convenient time for someone to go missing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just...her powers have always recharged within 24 hours...even if she couldn’t fight at first I-I  just don’t...I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> feel right about-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is more than one kind of bad man in this world, Mike!” She let her words sink in, and he couldn’t fight the sick feeling tumbling in his gut.  “I just wish El didn’t have to meet so many of them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike didn’t have the heart to fight Max any longer because he was slowly beginning to sink into the dreadful mindset that El was, in fact, gone forever and the news was correct.  Every fiber of his being revolted at the very thought, but he found himself spiraling down to a very dark place, and so instead of arguing any longer the party put the debate aside, because they didn’t have answers.  No one really knew, and until they had more information they would talk themselves in circles until they all went mad with grief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, however, things got strange.  Horribly strange.  He was making himself a sandwich for lunch when he heard the news anchor say over the television, “-After a tireless search, the killer of Jane Hopper has finally been apprehended.  Police used DNA and fingerprints lifted from the body of the victim to identify the murderer as a 57 year old male named Gerald Hobbs.”  A picture of a balding man with fear in his eyes flashed across the screen.  “He was found hiding out in a shed in the woods where he kept Jane for the duration of a week before her murder.  More details are to come-” but he had heard everything he needed to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a knock at her door.  When she opened it, she locked eyes with Mike Wheeler.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think she’s still alive,” was all he said, but he looked exhausted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce could only nod.  “So do I.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They couldn’t rely on the police to help them anymore.  Her case was closed.  They were on their own in their hunt for her only daughter.  “They’re letting me see the body today...Will said he can’t bring himself to go.  Do you?” she anxiously ran a hand through her hair, “Do you want to come?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike seemed to hesitate a moment before nodding.  Joyce recognized the uneasy look in his eyes.  He was afraid that this experience would prove his suspicions wrong, and it was clear that thought chilled him to the bone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It terrified her too.  Ever since she got the call that the police had found El, their whole family was in an uproar.  She had to cry that first night because the news had been so sickening and horrible, even if she suspected it wasn’t completely true.  But it wasn’t just about what she saw on the news.  It was the fact that Hopper had trusted her with his daughter.  He sacrificed his life understanding that El would have a warm safe place to go...and she couldn’t even provide that for a whole night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course she knew Eleven’s disappearance wasn’t her own fault, but she still felt the crushing burden of guilt in her absence.  She prayed Hop could forgive her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now here Mike was, and his conviction pulled her out of the tragic mental spiral she had begun to embark on.  Sure, she, Will, and Jonathan immediately felt like they couldn’t trust the public statement about El’s death, but to know that Mike felt the same way further validated her need to follow this through to the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was, um, I was actually about to go there now.  Do you need to call your parents to let them know or-?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike shook his head.  “I told Mom where I was going before I left.  Let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the body was brought out Mike lost his breath.  They were kept at a distance, across a sheet of glass as the unmistakable face of his girlfriend was revealed from underneath a tarp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce bit her lip at the sight of the body.  It looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> like Eleven.  But Will’s fake had looked just like him too, she reminded herself as she suppressed the sick feeling churning in her stomach.  Her attention broke, however, as she noticed Mike beginning to hyperventilate at her right.  She immediately jumped to the rescue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mike, honey, are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s...that’s her.  It’s really her—there’s no way it’s not—it’s her and-and it’s real and she’s there and I-I can’t-” his words were coming at a million miles per hour as his chest began to heave and tears swam in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mike...hey, look at me,” she said gently as she placed two steady hands on his arms.  His eyes met her own, and her heart broke at the complete and utter hopelessness in his frightened gaze.  “Shhh...hey it’s okay.  I-I know it looks...it looks bad.  We still don’t know yet, okay?  This was how it was with Will.  We have to get a closer look, or some clear indication that this is real before we give up, okay?” She whispered to him as she wiped tears away from his cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded, but he was clearly not all that convinced.  He was trembling.  She couldn’t blame him.  “That...how could that not be...I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think they’re gonna let us close enough to find out for sure,” she grumbled to herself as she worked to calm her racing heart.  “Do you know...is there something we could ask to see that would help determine if the body is real?  You might know better than me.” She asked Mike gently.  She hoped against all hope that her suspicions were correct and she hadn’t just dragged a kid to look at his girlfriend’s dead body.  She wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive herself if that was the reality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike tried to control himself.  He really did.  But he couldn’t look at the unnaturally pale, lifeless face of the girl he’d fallen hopelessly in love with without feeling grief violently tear into his heart without warning.  He thought it would be obviously fake.  He thought he’d be able to tell at first glance, say ‘That is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> my girlfriend’ and they’d go from there.  But he felt such a blinding sense of familiarity when he looked across the glass that it made his head spin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He came back to himself when Joyce asked him about anything that could identify a fake from the real thing.  He was immediately discouraged.  He didn’t know hardly any body identifiers.  They hadn’t done much together in the name of taking it slow, so he wasn’t sure he’d be much help.  Until he remembered, “Her wrists...they have these curved scars on them from her time at the lab.”  Joyce looked disheartened at his statement, but nevertheless encouraged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Okay...that could work.”  He watched as she licked her lips nervously before using a phone through the glass to ask the man in the room with the body, “Could you show us her wrists please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man nodded and reached under the tarp to pull her arms out.  As the man lifted them up he saw deep red and purple marks around both of her wrists.  This didn’t help at all.  Mike nearly turned to walk out of the room.  As if Joyce could sense this she placed a reassuring hand on his left shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Mike.  Just breathe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that’s when he noticed.  “Mrs. Byers, can you ask him to turn her wrists?” His voice was urgent.  Hopeful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.”  She grabbed the phone once more and asked the question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the man shifted so that Mike could see the inside of her wrists the ghost of a smile pulled on the corners of his mouth. His breathing levelled out, and he felt a whisper escape his lips, “It’s a fake.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce looked to him with wide eyes, eagerly waiting for an explanation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I...I can’t tell you here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, but he could see that she trusted him.  And so she thanked the man, and put on a grim face, and they left as quickly as they could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Mike got in the passenger seat of Mrs. Byers’s car she broke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you notice?  You’re sure it was a fake?  100% sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m dead sure.  What they left out is so—it’s so identifiable it </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have been on purpose!” Mike could feel excitement swirling in his chest once more.  He could barely control the words spilling out of his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?! What is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Her left wrist.  It has the numbers 011 tattooed on it.  It was one of the first things I noticed when I first found her in the rain.  I thought it was so weird that a kid had a tattoo and it’s where she got her name, Eleven—El.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did they mess up the tattoo on the fake?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They left it out </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mrs. Byers’ jaw dropped.  “They’re so detail oriented.  How could they miss something like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it was on purpose,” Mike was filled with new powerful hope.  “She hated those numbers because they were a reminder of how they dehumanized her in the lab.  She always talked about how other kids didn’t have numbers on their arms and it made her feel like less of a person.  But listen—The general public doesn’t know anything about El’s past in the lab, and if Brenner has her now, he certainly wouldn’t want any indication on the fake dead body to allow them to trace her back to him or the lab.  It’s as if they were trying to erase El from people’s lives and erase their own involvement in hers.  But I’ve seen those numbers on her arm as long as I’ve known her.  If the news story was true, those numbers would be on the body because...cause there would be absolutely no reason for some random guy to do a tattoo removal.  This just confirms that Brenner is the one we’re after right now.  This proves she’s alive!”  He was jittery with adrenaline from his discovery, and he couldn’t help from grinning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce went from outright shock to amazement to laugher, pressing her hands to her head as she laughed.  “You’ve got a good eye Mike!” She reached her hand up to offer him a high five.  “I knew it...I knew it! When we find that man he is going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>regret</span>
  </em>
  <span> messing with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He energetically smacked her hand and leaned back in his seat, determination filling every bone in his body.  He was going to find her.  If it was the last thing he did, he would find her.  And the </span>
  <em>
    <span>relief </span>
  </em>
  <span>he felt that it wasn’t too late.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was ready to face what was to come.  No matter how terrible it was, if she was alive he was grateful.  He closed his eyes and whispered to himself, “We’re coming to get you, El.  I promise.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>They are ready to HUNT this man down. El has such a good support system and that is one thing I love.  Next chapter we will hear from Hop again so don't worry we have not forgotten about him!</p>
<p>Feel free to leave a comment! I'd love to hear what you guys think or where you think the story should go!  I have an overall structure but I very much can add in details or extra moments if you have a request.</p>
<p>Or just let me know what you think--I am needy and need reassurance haha!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Human</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eleven tries.<br/>Brenner lies.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You guys make me so happy! Thank you for your support of this fic! It really means the world that you are invested in this story, and to apologize for taking a while to post this chapter is LONG.</p>
<p>Also-<br/>So remember when I said Hop would be in the next chapter? I lied.  This entire chapter is from Eleven's POV, and I will include a TRIGGER WARNING.</p>
<p>Ya'll any time El shows up just expect a trigger warning cause Brenner is straight up evil.</p>
<p>On with the show.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eleven woke up feeling dizzy, like her head was spinning on her shoulders and she couldn’t hold it in one place.  She inwardly groaned as her memories began to resurface. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Papa.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Glad to see you awake, Eleven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What-?” she was in a room that was unsettlingly similar to the one she grew up in, and as she became physically aware she realized she was in a bed very similar to the one she slept in as a child.  Plain white sheets, simple mattress, sterile metal bed frame.  And sitting in a metal chair by her bed was Papa...no, Brenner...no, Papa.  He was Papa because that would keep her alive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were asleep for a little longer than I thought you would be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A few days.  Don’t worry, though dear Eleven.  Papa has taken good care of you.  Your leg is healing up nicely and you even got a nice bath.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart sank into her stomach.  There was a time when she was grateful for Papa’s help bathing, but she wasn’t a little kid anymore.  Hop had made it very clear to her that that was something she could do on her own.  People deserve privacy, he said, to bathe.  Privacy had been a new concept to her at the time.  But what had once seemed so normal now made her insides twist.  Things were different now, and she could feel when something was not right, even if she didn’t know quite how to explain why.  She opened her mouth to speak.  Her throat felt dry.  “I can shower myself now.  I’m not a child anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well sure, but you won’t be able to get as clean don’t you think?” his expression was earnest.  Calm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It stumped her.  The way she could feel so strongly about something and know inside that she was right...and yet he always had a seemingly well-meaning reason as to why she was incorrect.  “I think I could-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No you couldn’t, Eleven.”  There was something unsettling in his calm steeled gaze that silenced her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” her voice was quiet, hoarse.  Her eyes darted down to her hands as she fiddled with her sheets.  She was now very aware of the scent of lemon body wash lingering on her skin.  Somehow it didn’t make her feel any more clean than when she was covered in blood and Mindflayer guts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you’re rested up because we’ve got a really big day today,” Papa said, and she drew her gaze back up to his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Big day?” she asked.  He used that phrase on bad days.  She didn’t like big days.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He seemed to sense her apprehension, though, because he placed a warm hand over her right one that was clutching at the stiff sheets.  “An exciting day.  You have incredible abilities, Eleven.  You’ve gotten very strong since the last time I saw you, but I’d like to do a few familiar tests before we jump into anything new.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She simply closed her eyes and shook her head.  She knew she couldn’t do what he would ask her to do.  When her battery was charged she could feel it, and right now everything felt weak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No?” he asked hesitantly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I...I can’t Papa.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course you can, Eleven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  I’m not special anymore.  My battery...I think it’s broken,” she couldn’t look at him as she spoke.  She was afraid of the disappointment she would see.  Bad things happened to her when Papa was upset.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that so?” his voice was still gentle.  That was a good sign.  “Tell me, what makes you think that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She swallowed hard, the lemon scent burning her nostrils.  She wanted to scrub her skin off and make it go away.  “The, uh, Mind-flayer.  It hurt me, my leg.  I had to pull this horrible slug thing from my leg using my powers, but it didn’t want to leave.  I think I broke my battery doing it.  It was…pain-full.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then there was just silence and she was still afraid to look at him, “You’re not lying to me are you Eleven?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt a burst of panic and her eyes flicked to his analytical ones.  She abruptly shook her head.  “No, Papa, friends don’t lie-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-Where did you hear that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My...friends.  I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head as he narrowed his eyes at her, and she wanted to curl into a ball and disappear.  “Friends, Eleven?  They were not your friends.  They used you.  They paraded you around and used your very special abilities for silly things.  And because of them you got hurt.  They just wanted to use you.  They didn’t care about you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words felt like salt in her wounds, and she shuddered.  “No, Papa, they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>good.”</span>
  </em>
  <span>  This seemed to strike a nerve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stood slowly and removed his hand from hers but he still seemed calm.  “You think they’re coming to get you, don’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was shocked by his words.  She so desperately wanted to believe Mrs. Byers and Mike and the whole gang were out searching for her.  Of course she wanted to believe she wasn’t going to be stuck with Papa for the rest of her life.  But she hadn’t expected Papa to address these thoughts.  She felt her lips part but no words came out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They are not coming for you.  They all think you are dead, Eleven.  Do you understand?”  His tone grew dark, but it retained its gentle nature.  She could only stare at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s going to be all over the news here pretty soon.  You need to move forward.  Your life outside was much too dangerous.  It will be better this way.  I…” he paused for a moment, “I think it’s time I introduce you to yourself.”  He walked to the door with an eyebrow raised and left without further explanation.  With some effort, she shifted to a seated position in bed, pulling the sheets tightly around her to ease the chill that was setting into her bones.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What had happened to her life?  For a single moment in time she had everything she never thought she would ever have.  She had a dad.  A </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> dad who didn’t make her kill cats or shock her into submission.  She had a dad who bought her stuffed animals and a radio and as many boxes of Eggos as she wanted.  She had a dad who ate breakfast with her and watched movies with her and listened to her...really listened.  A protector.  And then he was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had friends.  She had </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> friends who didn’t see how broken or strange she was.  She had friends who rode their bikes to her home and took her to the arcade and played Dungeons and Dragons with her.  Friends who laughed with her and taught her things with smiles on their faces.  And then they were gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had a boyfriend.  She had a boyfriend who took care of her.  A boyfriend who fed and clothed her and never forced her to talk about anything she didn’t want to.  A boyfriend who held her while she cried about memories she couldn’t begin to explain.  A boyfriend who ran his fingers through her hair and traced patterns on her back because he knew it helped her to relax.  And then he was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything she had wanted, far more than she could’ve imagined for herself, and within 24 hours the nightmares that would throw her from sleep screaming and sobbing had manifested.  They weren’t just nightmares or memories anymore.  She lost everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But her thoughts were interrupted when Papa reentered the room, wheeling a cart with a tarp covered lump on it.  She looked at him in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have to understand that we can’t have the people you claim to be your friends looking for you.  It would put you in danger, going back out there where anything could happen to you.  And it would put them in danger.  You are dangerous to normal people, Eleven,  So we needed a way to make people stop looking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>El could feel the uneasiness in her gut growing like a tumor.  “You said they think I am dead…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not yet, but they will,” he lifted the tarp from the cart and Eleven felt a scream tear itself from her throat.  It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  But it was terrifying.  It was like looking in a mirror.  On the cart laid a perfect replica of her image, dressed in the clothes Mrs. Byers had given her to sleep in.  But this replica was not just dead.  This replica was </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  The shirt was bloodsoaked.  She could see what looked like bruises and open wounds all over the dummy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She began to tremble.  What was this about?  What was he trying to tell her with this?  Was this what would happen to her if she didn’t listen?  Was he trying to scare her?  “I-I don’t...I don’t understand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry it isn’t real.  Just a sort of sculpture, let’s say.  They are going to find you on the side of the road.  You were killed by a man named Gerald Hobbs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How...how did you?  You made this?”  she felt like she was going to choke on her own breath.  It was surreal to look at her own dead body, and somehow it all felt like a grave warning.  This is what Papa and her ‘family’ were capable of.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t make it myself.  But it was created to protect you, Eleven.  You have to understand this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt tears prick her eyes.  No one would ever know she was still alive.  No one would ever know she was here.  No one would come looking for her, and no one would save her.  Her lower lip began to tremble and a shaky sob erupted out of her unexpectedly.  She didn’t want to be crying again.  She didn’t want to be so afraid, but she was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Papa swiftly covered the fake body once more with the tarp and walked up to Eleven like she was a frightened animal.  “Shh...don’t worry sweet Eleven.  You will be so much safer in here and they won’t be able to use you any longer.  You can trust me.  I will keep you safe.”  He rested a heavy hand on her back and she wanted to run away.  She wanted to run far far away and never look back but she couldn’t so instead she tried to reign in her emotions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t lying Papa.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t use my, a-bil-i-ties anymore.”  She sniffled and wiped away her tears before looking him earnestly in the face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Empathy crossed his features.  She wasn’t sure if it was genuine.  She wanted to believe it was.  “We’ll get them back.  I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had said </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She wasn’t sure if he knew the significance of that word.  But that was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing that gave her hope in this moment.  Even if she was truly stuck here and nobody would come looking for her, having powers reintroduced the idea of breaking out herself.  It made her heart pound to think about.  And so she accepted this, because it was her only hope.  “Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stared hopelessly at the image of a Russian man she did not know and willed her mind to please just </span>
  <em>
    <span>find him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She was desperate.  Papa had her try to squash a can, move a pen, and find countless individuals.  She did not pass a single one of her tests.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed in exasperation and fell back in her seat, pressing her hands to her face, wiping blood from her nose in the process.  It had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  “I...I can’t do it anymore.  I keep trying and it doesn’t work and my head hurts,” she looked up and across the table at Papa.  He had a frown on his face.  She didn’t like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Try again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I’ve been trying!  Don’t you see the blood coming out of my nose?  I-I keep doing what you say and it just makes my brain...I can’t do it anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she was exhausted.  “Papa, please don’t make me try again.  My head-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eleven I won’t ask you again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t want to get shocked again.  But she was going to pass out if she kept going like this.  She didn’t have much of a choice, though.  She silently steeled herself and took a deep breath before focusing once more on the picture of the unfamiliar Russian man.  Her head pounded and she could feel blood trickling from both nostrils.  She ignored it and pushed against the throbbing in her head.  She pounded against every barrier inside her mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it wasn’t enough, and she couldn’t get herself into the void.  She couldn’t find the man.  She couldn’t do it.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Broken battery...”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she mumbled as her vision began to blur.  But she kept her focus on the picture even as her senses failed her.  Even as the image began to squash and stretch in her vision.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt herself being lifted into someone’s arms before she lost her hold on consciousness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pushed through the fog clouding her mind as consciousness began to seep back into her body.   The first thing she noticed was an ache in her left leg, like a distant mist of pain seeping into her pores.  But as the fog cleared from her bleary brain, the mist began to burn and sear into her flesh like a jagged blade.  It intensified and twisted and curled around her nerves as her vision was restored and she blinked rapidly as a scream got caught in her throat.  It was as though the breath in her lungs was sucked from her body and she was left gasping for air as her eyes strained against the bright white lights.  She could hardly move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then she heard a voice.  It was Papa.  “Shhh...just relax.  This is going to heal you.” His words were like poison, because she knew that this was not what healing felt like.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She summoned the strength to lift her head off of what she now recognized to be a metal surgical table.  Her eyes met a bloody sight.  Her Mindflayer wound was reopened and peeled back as a machine she did not recognize plunged several horrifyingly sharp objects into her flesh.  She felt her chest compress further at the sight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said to relax, Eleven.  Lay your head back down,” he whispered to her in a gentle fatherly tone.  But she felt anything but safe.  She couldn’t respond to him, so she let the tears streaming down her cheeks do the talking for her as a deep guttural cry resonated from her chest.  “Shhh…” he placed a hand on the side of her wet face.  But she couldn’t even focus on his strikingly gentle visage.  Her vision blurred.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hand me the syringe,” a voice said.  It came from a body in scrubs she didn’t recognize.  But she didn’t care.  Her eyes screwed shut as a needle was plunged into her neck, and her limbs grew heavy and the pain began to numb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She could only whisper, “Mike…” as she gratefully slipped into the darkness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She awoke once more in her new room, tucked under the sheets, but this time she was attached to an IV.  Even through the steady pounding of her skull she could see there were machines attached to her body and her limbs felt distinctly cold.  There were men she did not know standing in the corners in full scrubs, just watching her.  A machine was beeping to her right, and the beeping grew faster as her breathing picked up.  That’s when Papa walked back in. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“You did a good job, Eleven.”</span><span><br/>
</span> <span>“What happened?  Wh-who are they?”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve got good news for you.” He ignored her questions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked weakly up at him, and she could feel the anger pulling down on the corners of her mouth.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good news?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  All she had done since arriving with him was hurt.  All she had done was shake and cry and hurt and he was trying to tell her he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>good news?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  The machine beeped faster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We figured out what happened to your abilities,” he looked at her eagerly, as if he expected her to jump up in excitement.  As if she hadn’t just spent hours trying to summon powers that refused to show.  As if she hadn’t pushed herself far beyond what she knew she was capable of, simply out of fear.  As if she hadn’t woken up in excruciating pain to see her leg being flayed in front of her eyes.  She couldn’t tell if she wanted to laugh hysterically or sob.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t have the energy to keep the bitterness from sinking into her voice, “What did you </span>
  <em>
    <span>figure out?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  Anger burned in her tightened chest and she could feel her face heating up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But before he could answer the monitor to her right began to beep faster and faster before-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>BOOM!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stared in complete shock at what used to be the monitor, now shattered to pieces.  Her anger dissipated, and she glanced back at Papa in bewilderment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>going</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell you,” he chuckled lightly, unaffected by her outburst, “was that we were able to fix your ‘broken battery.’”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Granted her head felt like it was about to explode too, but she couldn’t hide the relief on her face.  She felt a rush of perhaps undeserved gratitude for Papa, because he hadn’t broken his promise.  He meant it when he said he would get her powers back.  A hesitant smile pulled on her lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See?  Thought that might make you feel better,” Papa smiled.  It was a real smile, she could tell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stared at the broken monitor in amazement.  “How?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Papa nodded to the other two men in the room and they stepped forward.  The shorter one had receding blonde hair and big round blue eyes.  The taller one had a long thin nose and dark salt and pepper brown hair.  The shorter one smiled and spoke.  “Your Papa over here mentioned that you were attacked by something and it got caught in your leg.  We did some blood tests and found traces of a unique venom we hadn’t seen before.  It seemed as though it had proteins that attached to specific neurons that neutralized your ability to access your powers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The taller one continued, “We thought that a full blood transfusion would solve the problem, and it seems like it did.  If you feel anything strange just tell Papa and we’ll get it fixed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She took a moment to take it all in.  A venom?  So the Mindflayer had gotten enough venom into her bloodstream when that tiny monster was buried in her leg...that would explain why she only had enough energy to get it out before her powers disappeared altogether.  But none of that mattered now because if her powers were back, so were her chances of escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re quite welcome,” the blond man said.  She thought his eyes were kind.  Her smile faltered.  She remembered that if she was going to get out of here, she was going to have to kill again.  Or if she didn’t, she’d have to get real creative.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not to mention she had no idea what the layout of the new location was.  She wouldn’t be able to break out if she didn’t know what path to take, what doors to break, what was dangerous, and what was stupid (She </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> stupid and Hop had made sure of that).  And she certainly couldn’t sprint through a building she didn’t know on her now further injured leg.  She couldn’t take a breath without shuddering at the steady shockwaves of pain coming from that stupid injury. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So her powers were back but without any safe opportunity to use them for her freedom.  Papa seemed to notice how unsettled she was because he said, “What’s wrong, Eleven?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused for a moment and said, “I just wish I...had a way to, uh,  thank you for…helping me…” she lied.  Eleven knew friends didn’t lie.  But Papa wasn’t her friend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he smiled like he was a friend, and rested a heavy hand on her delicate shoulder.  “Thank me by doing your best at our little experiments.  That’s all I ask.”</span>
</p>
<p><span>She hesitantly nodded, though deep down she </span><em><span>knew</span></em><span> she would fail at even this simple task. There were far too many past requests of his that had been questionable at the very least.   Some were just sickening.  She knew with absolute certainty that she would soon become acquainted with those requests once more, but she had no energy left in her body to care at the moment.  </span> <span>The exertion it had taken to explode the monitor, though unintentional, had only drained her further, and emotions were difficult to address when all she wanted to do was sleep without being jostled awake into some kind of torturous nightmare.  Papa looked at her with loving eyes, and pulled a kerchief from his pocket and gently wiped her upper lip.  The white cloth came back red.  She hadn’t realized her nose was bleeding from something as small as a monitor.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“You can rest now dear Eleven.  We’ll continue your training tomorrow, or if you’re good maybe I’ll give you an extra day to rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that she wasn’t going to be ready to go tomorrow.  She didn’t even think she could walk anymore after what they did to her leg.  Normally this would make her furious.  Normally this would make her want to slam her fists down and break something, but she couldn’t even summon the strength to feel anger.   And so she nodded because what else was there to do?  Papa had so much power over her.  He could give her a single look and she’d comply because the alternative was always so much worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright then.  Get some sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then they left. All three of the men exited her room and she was alone.  Alone to look down at her blanket covered toes and wonder what her wound looked like now.  To wonder what the scar would look like if they ever let it heal.  Alone to press her face into her pillow and feel her curls brush up against her nose.  That was one thing they hadn’t taken from yet.  Her hair.  And she held onto that, because it reminded her that she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>human</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  She was a person in spite of what they were doing to her, she reminded herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike used to remind her all the time.  She’d be afraid to ask for something, or afraid to express her thoughts, and he’d say to her, “El, you’re a human being.  A person.  You’re allowed to have feelings and opinions and you’re allowed to express them.  That doesn’t make you bad, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She would always nod but in her head she couldn’t erase the deeply disappointed gaze of Papa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Human.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  A status she hadn’t even realized she hadn’t been allowed to identify with.  She weakly pulled her left arm from under the covers and looked for the millionth time at the sleek black numbers printed there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A number was what she was.  Because you can’t hurt a number.  You can’t commit crimes against a number.  Numbers can’t be tortured and numbers don’t feel.  That number on her wrist allowed Papa and the others to distance themselves from her mentally.  It allowed them to rip away her status as </span>
  <em>
    <span>human</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  It made her want to cry.  Was it that easy?  Paste a number on her skin and suddenly she wasn’t real to them?  She angrily shoved her arm back under the covers.  She didn’t want to look at it any longer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead she allowed herself to sink into her mattress, focus on the feel of her hair against her cheek, and finally sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>El has her powers back now!  As you can see some of her boldness in standing up to Brenner has faded as a result of trying to survive.  But we'll have to see what happens when Brenner starts up the regular experiments again.</p>
<p>Also if you have any thoughts please let me know! I am so grateful for all of the wonderful reviews you guys have been leaving--it seriously makes my whole day when I see them!  Love you guys!</p>
<p>-SunStar</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Right Side Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hopper makes an important discovery.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Back again lovely humans!  Thank you all for keeping up with this story!  This time I shall deliver on my promise to show you what Hopper is up to.  I am thinking of creating a regular weekly schedule for when I update, so what day would you guys like to get new chapters?</p><p>That being said here's the chap!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>His feet ached and his chest felt tight.  Hopper had been following the glowing tendrils for what felt like ages.  His heart never ceased to jump every time he heard a Demogorgon screech in the distance, the ash-filled atmosphere suffocating him in the process.  However, over time he began to discover patterns.  He grew more confident in understanding the function of the pseudo-veins El was somehow connected to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If they were glowing bright red, he should </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> touch them under any circumstances.  Bright red meant a significant level of pain, and if he touched the tendrils when they were bright red he would feel the torture just as sharply, just as intensely as El was feeling it, but only for a split second.  Once he touched it willingly knowing what would happen, if only because he felt sick and wanted to know what his daughter was going through. Wanted to know what was happening to her.  But more often than not he would just keep following the path when the rope-like objects burst with color and tried to keep his mind from wondering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That took him to the second thing he discovered about the tendrils.  Oftentimes after they were a fluorescent red for a time, they ended up dying down in color and pulsing for a little before eventually settling into a dull glow.  The dull glow was when it was really safe for him to touch them.  This would happen in the aftershocks of whatever terrible thing had happened to her.  This was when he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> her.  If he touched a low glowing slimy tendril he would be transported like a phantom to wherever Brenner was keeping her.  However at that point she was usually crying and he couldn’t watch for long.  His very soul ached to run to her aid and tear off the face of the man who had hurt her like this.  But he was growing weaker being surrounded by oxygen he could barely breathe and he would find himself coughing and sputtering upon returning to his body in the Upsidedown.  He knew if he had any hope of surviving an escape it would have to be soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that took him to the third thing he discovered.  When Eleven was unconscious the tendrils lost all color.  They drained down to pitch black and there was no light emitting from them at all.  After the initial discovery that Brenner had used electric shocks on El, the veins went dark for what he could only assume was a few days.  He continued to follow the path nonetheless.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was beginning to get discouraged.  He was beginning to lose his mind.  How much longer would he have to worry about his own survival while being brought to near insanity over the safety of his child?  He was near giving up when he saw something in the distance.  He couldn’t even remember when he started walking through the dark moss-filled woodsy area he was currently in.  It felt like so long ago, but as he continued down the dimly glowing dirt path, he saw a very large gray high rise building emerging from the trees.  It had no windows.  Suddenly he realized what the glowing veins had been doing.  They were taking him to El’s current location.  Whether she knew it or not, El was trying to save her own life.  He had to chuckle to himself.  The kid was talented even when she didn’t realize she was doing anything.  He felt proud.  He couldn’t hide that fact, and he wouldn’t want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so he picked up his pace, and before he knew it he was standing in front of a massive building that looked strikingly similar to the lab El had originally come from.  But this one was far from any town, and this one was much, much larger.  Quickly he looked at the road signs on the dirt road leading up to the massive gate covered in barbed wire.  Fairview and Curtis.  They were still in Indiana.  Like everything else in the Upsidedown, the building was silent and empty.  None of the many massive trucks in the parking lot moved.  The dark sky made the building look ominous, and he felt something inside him twist at the knowledge that this building represented a kind of cruelty he would never fully understand.  For a moment he just stood and stared as his lungs tried their very best to keep him going.  And then something very unusual occurred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> The tendrils flashed </span>
  <em>
    <span>blue.</span>
  </em>
  
  <em>
    <span>Bright blue.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  His heart leapt.  Not knowing what this meant but that it had to do with El’s wellbeing he sucked in a deep shuddering breath before reaching down to touch it, fully prepared to feel any amount of pain.  But as his fingers made contact with the gooey surface of the electric blue tendril he felt what he could only describe as a rush of </span>
  <em>
    <span>life.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  A rush of wildly uncontrolled power that ran down his arms and into his legs and up to his brain, consuming his entire being.  He didn’t let go even as the feeling died down, the tendrils returning to a dull blue glow.  However as they returned to that dull glow, his vision flashed white as it had before and he was once more standing in Eleven’s bright white room.  He turned his head and saw his little girl looking strikingly drained in a hospital bed, her face red, staring in complete wonder at a smoking monitor that had clearly been shattered to pieces by her mind.  That sick fuck Brenner with his icy eyes was smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her powers.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was thrust out of that vision too quickly, however, as a wheezing cough shook his entire body.  He sputtered as he stood in the Upsidedown once more, trying to piece together what events could have led to the moment he just witnessed.  She was clearly angry, and he couldn’t blame her.  She had more than enough reasons to be enraged.  He only hoped she didn’t have to pay for her outburst.  But he was snapped out of his thoughts as the blue vessels pulsed and twisted towards a giant bluff of rock sticking out of the ground.  A flat face of stone like a wall.  He hesitantly turned in its direction.  “What’re you trying to tell me, kid?” he grumbled as he shuffled towards the bluff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then </span>
  <em>
    <span>CRACK!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The stone began to shatter.  A massive crack pulled the stone with a loud thunderous noise as he jumped back with uncertainty.  The tendrils wrapped around the sheet of rock and began to glow brightly, radiating bright powerful blue light.  The rock shifted, groaned, and slowly a gooey opening was pried from the stone.  It looked just wide enough for him to fit through, but it was covered with a thin sticky membrane that looked all too human.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he heard her voice echoing in his mind, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Hop, it’s okay.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing her voice nearly brought tears to his eyes.  “Okay, kid.  Okay.  I trust you,” he whispered, and somehow he knew she could hear him, because the tendrils glowed brighter around the passageway in the stone.  She was protecting him.  After everything that had happened, she was still saving people.  He felt a sad smile tug at the corners of his mouth as he took a deep breath and began to push through the stretchy membrane, pressing his body through the exit even as an unknown substance coated his skin and he felt engulfed by a fleshy slime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he fell on the other side, the first thing he felt was the air filling his lungs.  It was like a gentle balm on his tortured bronchioles.  A deep pain in his chest was released as he laid in the grass coughing, covered in slime, grasping at the ground beneath him.  He was back.  He was back in the...right side up?  A pained chuckle erupted from his lips.  It was almost hysterical gratefulness that filled his heart, as he realized for the first time that he truly had not expected to live.  Deep down he believed he was doomed to die a painful death in the Upside Down.  Whether to the Demogorgon or to suffocation, he thought his fate had been sealed.  And that little girl from out in the woods he bribed with Eggo waffles was the one who saved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time in years, he cried.  It started with his vision blurring as he pushed himself from the ground only to see the passageway had closed and returned to looking like a normal face of rock.  He weakly allowed himself to lean against it as the tears filled his eyes and began to roll down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To feel the warm air on his face...to feel the cool breeze in his hair, the sun on his skin.  He pressed his hands to his face and shuddered as a sob wracked his body.  He had taken for granted the beauty of a summer day.  Forgot that air could be warm.  That breathing could be easy.  That grass could be green.  It was only the sound of an engine that tore him from his rarely expressed emotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He froze in place as he wiped his eyes and looked around.  He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> close to the new lab and a massive truck was slowly rolling through the gate in the distance.  He could see a few men dressed in what looked like riot gear guiding the truck in, and he suddenly remembered why he was here in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eleven had saved his life even as hers was being torn away from her.  Now it was time for him to save her.  But he couldn’t very well just burst into the building and demand they hand over what was likely their most high profile experiment in the building.  No, he was going to need help.  He was going to need a plan.  And he was going to need </span>
  <em>
    <span>rest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, painfully, Hopper shoved himself to his feet, wavering for a moment as he stood and looked once more at the windowless gray building ahead of him.  He now knew where it was.  Now he had to get back to Hawkins and tell Joyce.  He had to tell Murray.  If they were still alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so he set off away from the lab, remembering the location, and headed for a road to hitchhike on.  After facing evil Russians, hitchhiking didn’t seem remotely dangerous in comparison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce and Mike had just arrived back at the Byers’ residence when Mike began to call the entire Party over so he could share the good news about El.  It didn’t take long for them all to funnel in, piling on the couch and on the floor.  Jonathan called Nancy and Nancy called Steve who called Robin, and soon the room was filled with voices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike spoke up above the muffled buzz of curious and frightened voices.  He stood, his heart bubbling to the brim with hope.  “Eleven isn’t dead!” He announced passionately, “The body the cops found was a fake like Will’s!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know, Mike?” Lucas asked unsure.  The room grew uneasy at Mike’s statements.  He could tell many of them didn’t quite believe his words.  He could feel that they saw him as desperate for an escape from the truth.  And maybe he had been, but that was what helped him find out the real truth in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs. Byers and I saw the body.  It was fake.  Her wrist didn’t have 011 written on it!  There’s no way that could have disappeared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the room was quiet, and he could feel the palpable discomfort in the gazes of his friends.  Nancy spoke up softly, “Were there...where there any other indicators?  A tattoo could have been covered or masked by an injury.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Mike grew frustrated at her statement.  He had seen how clear that spot on her wrist was.  No tattoo had ever been there.  That body was not Eleven, and he wouldn’t rest until his friends believed that too.  “No you don’t understand, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s a fake!  I-I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his words were cut off by three loud knocks at the door.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!</span>
  </em>
  <span>  It nearly made him jump out of his skin, and Dustin shielded himself with a pillow.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“SHIT!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dustin shouted as Mrs. Byers stepped around the crowd on the floor to get to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it’s fine everyone, just-” she began as she opened the door, but once it was open her words dropped off, and from where Mike was standing he could see her face go white.  It made his heart stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce had been chewing on her lip as Mike tried to convince his crowd of friends that what he saw was correct.  She had felt conflicted, because deep down she knew that the body was fake.  It had happened once with her son and she knew all too well it could happen again.  Not to mention how dramatic the shift in Mike’s demeanor was when he discovered the lack of tattoo.  Before that he had been about to walk out of the building his face had been so pale.  She knew he was right, but his friends brought up good points.  She was about to jump to his aid when there was a loud knock at the door.  Her stomach twisted at the sound.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no reason for anyone to be at her home right now.  Even as Dustin shouted in fear she assumed the role of protector as she always did and walked over to the door, doing her best to reassure the uneasy kids.  “I’m sure it’s fine everyone, just-” but as she opened the door she could feel her stomach drop.  Her mouth hung open in complete baffled shock.  Tears pricked her eyes and her heart began to race as she whispered his precious name, “Hopper?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room went dead silent.  She never thought she would see his face again.  As she looked into those eyes she remembered the last time she saw him.  The only time she had ever seen him tear up.  He had accepted his death.  He was saying goodbye.  But now he was here, and his eyes were soft.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Joyce.”  His voice was gruff but he looked at her like she was the greatest thing he’d ever seen.  It made her heart thunder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she broke from her reverie when she realized he looked like a mess.  His beard was longer, his eyes had dark circles around them.  His clothes were dirty.  Everything about the man looked haggard, but she didn’t care because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he was alive.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>“How did you-?”  But he just pulled her into his arms and she shut her eyes as tears began to slip down her cheeks.  She didn’t need to know right now.  She just wanted to hold him for eternity.  Feel that he was real.  Feel that she wasn’t hunting for Eleven alone.  That she hadn’t lost the only person who seemed to truly understand her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they broke their embrace he brushed a thumb over her cheek.  “I was in the Upside Down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> That was the moment she realized the entire crowd of kids had gathered behind her and she had an audience.  It was Will who had spoken up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hopper’s gaze left her own and landed on the group of astounded teenagers behind her.  She immediately stepped back further into the house and escorted Hopper inside, shutting the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leisurely shuffled over to the couch and sat down as the group followed, their eyes wide all the while.  They bombarded him with questions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d you end up in the Upside Down?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you still alive?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay? You don’t look so good Chief-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you escape?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose as his eyes scrunched and finally he boomed, “Enough!”  The room quieted.  He glanced back at Joyce for a moment as if to say, ‘do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear</span>
  </em>
  <span> these kids???’  She bit back a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce looked at him with a sly smile.  Hopper had very quickly remembered how annoying teenagers could be.  However, he couldn’t help but admit, even if only to himself, that he missed every single one of their faces.  They had all cared so deeply and fought tooth and nail for his kid, and he had more respect for every single one of those kids than any officer in his department.  He couldn’t help but feel the corners of his mouth draw upward at the wonder in their eyes as they looked at him like a phantom.  They had quieted down, but they were anxiously awaiting whatever he was about to say.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally he leaned back and spoke, “I thought I was about to die, but I was sucked into the Upside Down right before the machine Joyce had just shut down exploded.  I don’t know how it happened but let’s call it luck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A murmur rose as the teens began to whisper to each other and he continued, “I don’t know how long I was in there or how I’m still alive.  Those ugly Demogorgon things were everywhere.”  He looked to Will whose gaze was distant.  He felt his heart soften.  “Gotta give credit to you kid, you did one hell of a job surviving in there,” he smiled sadly at the boy.  Will came back to himself with a grateful expression on his face.  But there was a sadness there he couldn’t explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he smiled hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, and continued, “I don’t know how I survived as long as I did, but I can tell you the reason I’m standing here right now is because of Eleven.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room hushed once more, but this time you could hear a pin drop a mile away.  Mike looked at him with such a degree of hope and such a degree of desperation that it made any former distaste he had for the boy dissipate.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Eleven?  She’s alive?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> the boy whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes and nodded, “She saved my ass.  Somehow...she guided me to her location and created a doorway to the real world for me.  I’d still be in there if not for her,” his voice felt like gravel.  A cough shook his body for just a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait you </span>
  <em>
    <span>saw</span>
  </em>
  <span> her?!” Mike nearly leapt to his feet, but Lucas kept him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well...yes, but no.  There were these glowing vein looking things in the Upside Down that I just...I knew it was El somehow connected to them.  They’d glow bright red when…” he felt his eyes begin to sting again, “when she was in pain…” his voice nearly broke.  “When I touched it I could feel what she was feeling.  But when the glow died down and I touched it then I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> her,” he paused, thinking back to how incredibly small and fragile she looked tucked under those spotless white sheets in that massive laboratory.  His heart ached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s in pain?” Max asked suddenly, her gaze so open and wrought with worry it took him aback.  El really had the most dedicated friends he could’ve hoped for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned deeply and nodded.  “She’s with that sick motherfucker Brenner.  The same man that tortured her for all those years as a kid.  Has her locked up in essentially a bigger version of Hawkins Lab.  I can’t tell you the number of times those weird vein things turned red.”  He felt his blood begin to boil just at the thought of Martin Brenner.  He was capable of a level of cruelty he hadn’t seen anywhere else in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This statement got the room talking again, and within a few seconds there was a frenzy.  Will and Dustin began to anxiously chatter.  Max and Lucas mostly communicated with each other in glances.  Steve and Robin broke into a furious discussion while Jonathan and Nancy seemed to be formulating a plan.  Joyce looked grateful to hear she was alive, though somewhat guilty, as if this was all her fault.  He wanted to tell her it was okay, and that he didn’t blame her.  But what </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> got to him was Mike.  Mike kept his gaze on Hopper.  He looked so deeply broken and so wholly infuriated that it sent chills down his spine.  He saw death in that kid’s eyes.  With that one look, Hopper knew Mike was willing to lay down his life for his daughter without hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While the room continued to buzz with conversation Mike spoke to Hopper, as if he was the only other person in the room.  “Do you know how we can find her?” his voice wavered, as if he was on the edge of something dangerous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hopper nodded and addressed the entire room.  “He’s keeping her in a windowless laboratory on the road that branches from Fairview and Curtis in Doris, Indiana.  What we need now is a plan, because breaking in there is almost certainly a death sentence if we’re not prepared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyce spoke up, “We can call Murray.  Last time we talked he said if I could find her location he could get inside information.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hopper nodded and his gravelly voice erupted with a bite,  “We’re gonna take that monster down for real this time.”  The fire in Joyce’s eyes matched his fervor and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> the time was up for Brenner.  And his death was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to be gentle.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And boom like that Hopper is back in Hawkins are ready to take Brenner down!  Poor Mike is dying inside worrying about his girl, but that's just going to make the next plot point even juicier! Have I got you curious yet? ;) Guess you will have to keep reading to find out...</p><p>But seriously thank you for all of the wonderful reviews.  You keep me inspired to write knowing I've got incredible readers like you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hopper learns about the man arrested for killing his daughter.</p>
<p>Eleven searches for Mike.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The absolute love you guys are giving this story makes my heart explode! So I decided I will be posting every Friday AT LEAST! My goal is to post more than one chapter a week, but at the very least I will give you one per week!</p>
<p>Also TRIGGER WARNING- you will be seeing that frequently but please remember to prioritize your own mental health!</p>
<p>On with the show</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After everyone began to clear out of the Byers residence, Joyce made a call to Murray to update him with the new information.  Then for a few hours, Hopper learned from Joyce about all the things that had happened in his absence.  Hearing what the authorities said about Eleven’s supposed death sent him over the edge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The police report said </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he nearly spit out his coffee as he leaned forward on the couch and began to cough.  “Didn’t they just say Will drowned last time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  They made it so unnecessarily violent.  They recently released pictures of the fake body.  I think they’re trying to shock everyone in Hawkins out of investigating further.  If they ‘caught’ the guy, and everyone thinks he’s some kind of murder rapist the town will just want to heal and move forward.  But here’s the thing that gets me...they got a confession.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper could feel his eyebrows shoot up, “They got a </span>
  <em>
    <span>confession?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  This man, he willingly told them he killed my daughter?  Something doesn’t add up here,” he grumbled as he rubbed his beard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could tell Joyce was deep in thought too.  It just didn’t make sense.  Who would volunteer to be the fake pervert for this story?  “I know for a fact that the fuckers at the lab set this up, but...does this man work for them?  And if he does, I can only imagine someone threatened his life to make him take the blame for this fake murder.  Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>no one</span>
  </em>
  <span> wants to be charged for a crime like this.  I mean come on, people who hurt kids are </span>
  <em>
    <span>the</span>
  </em>
  <span> most hated criminals in the book,” he thought aloud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think you should talk to him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t hurt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he saw the face of the man who supposedly killed his daughter, he just shook his head.  The man looked scared to death.  He sat across a simple metal interrogation table in a dull grey room.  Hopper stood staring at his receding graying hair, his frazzled green eyes, and the dark bags beneath them and knew this man was not here by choice.  The first thing Hop said was, “Your name isn’t really Gerald Hobbs is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man’s eyes grew wide and he just stared across the table.  “Who are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jim Hopper, Chief of Police.  The father of the teenage girl you say you raped and murdered.  Do we wanna talk yet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hopper…” he mumbled with a look of recognition and terror.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Hopper,” he growled.  “As in Jane Hopper.  Does that name ring a bell buddy?  I’m gonna need you to start talking,” Hopper was growing impatient.  The longer he was here the longer his kid was stuck with the monsters in that lab.  And even though this man wasn’t a current danger, his refusal to cooperate could be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are...are you gonna kill me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If the news report was real I just might consider it.  But you and I both know you didn’t kill her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked so confused and afraid it almost made Hop chuckle.  “What?” he asked dumbfounded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t kill my daughter, because she’s still alive.  Isn’t that right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked trapped.  Hopper knew why.  He says he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> kill her and he has to face her vengeful father immediately, or he admits it’s a lie and if word gets out, whoever set him up to this would certainly have him killed.  “I...she’s dead,” he mumbled under his breath, not making eye contact, not sounding even remotely convincing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not true.  You may not be an innocent man but you didn’t kill my daughter.  I don’t want to keep you locked up for something you didn’t do, so if you help me I’ll help you okay?”  The man nodded hesitantly, but that was good enough for the Chief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“O-okay...fine...I didn’t do it.”  He looked around as he spoke as if someone was going to swoop in and kill him on the spot.  No one did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Glad we got that covered.  I wanna get the bullshit out of the way.  Is that okay with you?” Hop finally decided to take a seat at the table, leisurely settling in as ‘Gerald’ nodded.  “Great.  I know about the new lab,  I know where it’s at, and I know you have ties to Dr. Martin Brenner.  Can you confirm this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shut his eyes and nodded.  “I worked at the lab for years.  Both locations.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you get assigned to be a killer?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man was sweating bullets and pressed a hand to his face.  “I was a scientist.  I believed we were working for the good of humanity...I did.  I promise I’m not like those monsters.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No one said you were, Mr…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rob.  Robert Carlton.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No one said you’re a bad person Rob.  I just wanna know how you ended up here so I can help you and you can help me alright?”  He didn’t respond, only shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  “So you were a scientist.  Were you familiar with Eleven?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded once more, looking sheepish.  “She was the reason I stayed.  She was such a promising experiment, and showed such steady growth.  I knew she was going to change the world.  If only we could develop her skills further, her ability to protect the country would be unmatched.  I was thinking of all the lives that could be saved as a result of the intel she could gather.  I promise that was my motivation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you admit you’ve tortured a child before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I don’t-that’s not-I never did lay a hand on the child!” He was emphatically shaking his head as he spoke, as if to deny his status as an abuser with every fiber of his being.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well your </span>
  <em>
    <span>boss </span>
  </em>
  <span>sure didn’t mind harming kids.  How did you get on his bad side anyway?  You were ordered to take the heat for this crime, correct?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then he grew very quiet.  It made Hopper take a moment to reevaluate the situation.  Rob seemed deeply troubled to the point where his skin was paling far beyond what was natural.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rob?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told him I wasn’t going to do it anymore,” he looked up and his tired dull green eyes met Hopper’s intense gaze.   “The experiments.  All of it.  It was all horrible in the first place...but it was when he started touching the kid I had to leave.  I had to get out of there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper felt his stomach plummet through the floor, as the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees.  The words he had prepared to say got caught in his throat.  Eleven never talked about this.  This was new information to him.  Information he should have known as a father.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” his voice was less harsh than before, and he mentally cursed himself for showing any weakness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I know I should have left sooner, but I just kept trying to mentally justify most of the experiments.  It was for the greater good.  Every test served a purpose.  Or-or so I thought, but I saw through it when he started-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You saw this happen?” Hopper's eyes were daggers.  A new dangerous unquellable rage frothed and filled his chest like venom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.  But I saw Brenner take Eleven to his private room a couple of times and she would always leave in tears, the poor child,” he paused to rub his eyes,  “So I put in my letter of resignation.  I was supposed to stay three more weeks before I was officially allowed to leave, but when Eleven came up to me one day all shaky and teary eyed asking why...” he took an uneasy breath, “why Papa would hurt her with his hands,” he shook his head and ashamedly wiped at his eyes, “-that was the last straw.  I scooped the kid up and I decided she was done with the lab and the experiments and the abuse and I was quitting for good.  I was gonna get that poor child out of there come hell or high water.  I made it to the second floor before the alarm was pulled on me.  By an </span>
  <em>
    <span>intern</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people.  They all realized my intentions and I was swarmed.  They shot me in the leg, knocked me out, and when I woke up I was alone and Eleven was gone.  They told me I would pay for what I did.  I was no longer allowed to leave.  I was forced to keep working or they would kill me.  When she eventually broke out of Hawkins Lab, Brenner transferred me to the new facility, but it was only when I saw Eleven again that I was given my order to pose as this...this disgusting predator.  I think he was afraid I’d try to break her out again.  Felt like a slap in the face that he asked me to embody the very thing I was trying to save that poor kid from.  But I knew life in prison or whatever sentence I received would be better than death at the hands of Dr. Martin Brenner.  So here I am, Hawkins’ new most hated man alive,” he finished his story with a look of complete exhaustion and hopelessness on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper hardly had anything to say.  What </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> he say?  He was sick to his stomach in just about every single way, and he felt all kinds of conflicting emotions towards Rob.  He had somehow justified experimenting on a kid, but when it bridged into sexual abuse he was suddenly a child safety advocate?  A part of him had respect for the man as he was willing to go against a system that had the full ability to crush him.  It would have been much easier to just look the other way.  He decided he did not hate this man, but he didn’t trust him either.  “That’s one hell of a story Rob,” was all he managed to say while he gathered his feelings of rage towards Martin Brenner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s all true.  Not sure what reason I’d have to lie to you at this point.  I’m pretty much permanently ruined for the rest of my life, all because of a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>intern.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That caught Hopper’s attention.  A lightbulb flashed in his brain.  “Do they still take interns?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Usually one or two high school kids intern over the summer. Sometimes there’s none.  Mostly they’d be kept away from the more high profile experiments including Eleven, however if Brenner respected their work or they helped research efforts significantly the rules would change.  They’d have to be damn good at science though.  Chemistry, biology, physics, all of that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper’s face fell.  He knew exactly who the lab would pick for the position.  He pressed a hand to his face as he groaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chief Hopper?  Did you mean to call me?” Mike picked up the phone with great apprehension.  He had been given more than enough reasons to fear the man.  Somehow he felt like Hopper was about to blame Eleven’s disappearance on </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  But instead the call went like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Mike, I meant to call you.  Look, how do you feel about an internship—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“—What?—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“—At the lab where they’re keeping Eleven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> his jaw dropped as he realized what Hopper was asking of him.  This was his chance to aid in rescuing El.  This was his chance to be there for the most important thing in the world to him.  He would be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid, though.  It seemed like there was an endless array of possibilities for things to go wrong very very quickly, ending in both his personal demise and El’s.  But if it meant saving Eleven from Brenner, he would risk everything.  “I’m in.  Let’s do it…uh...What would I be doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dunno kid, Murray said he did some digging and got the application and already filled it out with all the ‘right’ answers.  You just have to sign it.  Oh, and it’s a paid internship with the government so if your mom has any qualms about you doing it you can just tell her that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>paid</span>
  </em>
  <span> for this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t get too excited, you’re going to be our eyes and ears inside the compound and you’re gonna have to do some sneaking around.”  And then his voice dropped to a dangerous tone,  “-And under </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> circumstances do you pull anything crazy having to do with </span>
  <em>
    <span>my daughter</span>
  </em>
  <span> before we have a plan, am I clear?  You mess up and we’re all dead, got it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike swallowed hard.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>There</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the Hopper that freaked him out.  But this time he felt an intense sense of duty.  He had spent the last week laying in bed filled with barely subdued panic, feeling completely helpless to help the one person who meant everything to him.  Now he could say he was doing all he could.  He may not have had powers like his badass girlfriend, but he wasn’t afraid to die a hero’s death.  “Understood, sir.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And Mike?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For—?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“—for looking out for my daughter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike could feel surprise pulling at his features.  Had Hopper just </span>
  <em>
    <span>thanked</span>
  </em>
  <span> him?  The same Chief Hopper who locked him in his car to threaten him out of spending time with El?  To say he was shocked was an understatement.  “You’re welcome.  I...I guess I never really thought about it like that.  She’s saved my life more than once, so I figure I owe her.  I’m just glad there’s a way I can help now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> do your best to stay safe.  I didn’t want to send a kid in but you’re somehow the most qualified and would be the least suspect.  I know that you’re aware that you’re risking your life, just make sure that is something you really want before we do this, alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Mike did not hesitate.  “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do this.  My girlfriend is in that place and she’s in pain!  I’m not just going to walk away from something like this!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Hopper sigh anxiously before responding, “Alright, kid.  You got it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that their conversation ended and Mike was left to wonder what the ramifications were of what he just agreed to.  What if </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> had to torture her somehow?  What if he couldn’t even get close to where she was at?  What if he accidentally gave himself away and got killed?  He silently prayed this was a good idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>El was grateful to Papa.  He let her rest for the entire next day, and only came in to check on her when she received her meals.  She slept most of the day.  A few men came to fiddle with the machines she was attached to, take some blood, and give her a couple unknown injections, but that was nothing compared to what she had been mentally preparing herself for.  She was truly and legitimately grateful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was after she drifted awake once more due to a buzzing sound, she noticed one of the machines seemed to be malfunctioning and the screen looked fuzzy.  It suddenly dawned on her that </span>
  <em>
    <span>her battery was fixed.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Very quickly she pulled herself under the sheets to cover her eyes while she did what she knew how to do so well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she closed her eyes, she took slow even breaths just as she had been taught long ago.  As she focused on the buzzing machine with all of her might, she found herself in a very familiar place.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Void.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She was surrounded by darkness, and noticed that even in the void it hurt to walk on her left leg.  She went slow, gently padding through the water and searching for the sound of his voice.  She mentally focused on his face.  His soft hair and gentle gaze.  His beautiful lips.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then she saw him.  She saw his beautiful freckled face and his soft eyes.  But he was not the only body she saw.  He was the only person standing in a group, and El couldn’t stop the tears that sprang to her eyes as she looked at every single face.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Her friends.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  They looked miserable.  But Mike looked...hopeful.  She tried to focus on listening.  “Eleven isn’t dead!” He announced passionately, “The body the cops found was a fake like Will’s!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words knocked the breath out of her lungs..  Papa had sent out that horrifying fake body and Mike was able to see through it.  Mike somehow figured out that it wasn’t real.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He hadn’t given up on her.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you know, Mike?” Lucas asked unsure.  The room grew uneasy at Mike’s statements.  She stepped back a moment as she looked at Lucas.  He didn’t believe Mike.  He looked heartbroken, like what Mike had said was giving him hope that he knew he shouldn’t have.  What was worse was Max.  She looked like she hadn’t slept a night in her life.  She realized in that moment that many of her friends </span>
  <em>
    <span>genuinely</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought she was horrifically killed.  If not for Mike, maybe everyone would move on and forget about her forever.  She’d be trapped in this nightmare for the rest of her life until one day Papa finally did kill her and she’d look just like the bloody heap her friends had seen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mrs. Byers and I saw the body.  It was fake.  Her wrist didn’t have 011 written on it!  There’s no way that could have disappeared.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her brows shot up.  She hadn’t even noticed that detail when Papa showed her the horrifying creation.  She had just been focused on the fact that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it was horribly mangled.  She felt a pang of admiration that he was able to notice such a small detail about her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nancy spoke up softly, “Were there...where there any other indicators?  A tattoo could have been covered or masked by an injury.”  El bit her lip as she looked back to Mike, hoping he had something else that would prove to them she was still out here and in desperate need of assistance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked visibly distressed and frustrated as he then spoke, “No you don’t understand, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s a fake!  I-I just-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she couldn’t stay.  Her head had begun to pound with the exertion and her poor lacerated leg was trembling.  She felt a rush of cold before she opened her eyes, and she was back in her pristine bed.  Her vision was blurring at the edges.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span> had that taken so much energy?  She could usually do something like that with no problem.  She thought maybe it was because she had just gotten her powers back that everything was so difficult.  Maybe it would get better.  She prayed it did, because she needed them if she was going to have any hope of escape.  She allowed herself to fall back asleep imagining the eyes of her beloved gazing lovingly into her own.  Tomorrow there would be pain, but right now there was only him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What did we think?  I would love to hear recommendations for things you wanna see while Mike is interning at the lab!  I am still a little unsure of how I'm going to move forward, but I have some ideas.  Also if you have any ideas of various tests Brenner could run on El I'd love to get your creative input!</p>
<p>Also now that we have reached the part of the story that references it, this won't be the last mention of sexual abuse, so if that is something that triggers you please note that and take care of yourself.</p>
<p>Thank you guys so much for the love and the reviews--they make me so incredibly happy and I get excited to post because of you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Internship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Mike's first day of his internship at the Doris Lab.</p>
<p>Eleven has had enough.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guys I am so sorry I didn't post this earlier today!  I had really bad writer's block and really struggled to get this chapter written.  I actually wrote it all today actually.  There is violence in this chapter as per usual so be warned.</p>
<p>Also thank you for the fun reviews! I love talking to you guys so feel free to drop any suggestions and comments!  I got a request to add some Max and El memories in and I'm currently working on finding a good place for that, so please know I do take requests into account!</p>
<p>On with the show!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mike was about to make perhaps the most dangerous decision of his life, and for some reason there wasn’t a doubt in his mind whether it was the right one.  He had spent the last few days being briefed by Murray on what to do, what </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do, what to say and what not to say, who he was and why he was there...everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His name was James Miller, he had a knack for science but wasn’t sure what area he wanted to delve deeper into.  He had a special interest in biochem and biomedicine and he was looking for an opportunity to expand on his knowledge base as well as gain real research experience.  He was told he didn’t have to change his appearance as it had been a long time since Dr. Brenner had seen him, and he had been a child at the time.  Now that he was 5’8” and his voice had dropped, that was good enough of a change as they really needed.  As long as he played dumb about anything regardling Eleven he would be fine, or so he was told.  And if he spoke to her, ever, he would have to be incredibly careful not to give away his identity in case there were cameras on them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as Murray had predicted, Mike’s application had been accepted and he was to begin working immediately.  This left little time for him to mentally prepare himself, but his friends were all very encouraging.  They all gathered around him the morning of his first day as a sort of static electricity seemed to be buzzing in his swiftly beating heart.  Their arms wrapped tightly around him, and he took that moment to reflect on all the good moments he had with the Party. All of the promises and tears and laughter.  He left their final group hug with a sense of finality.  When Mike was done with Brenner, either he would be dead or that man would never be able to harm an innocent soul ever again.  Either way, a big change was going to happen, and he would not rest until it did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The strangest feeling came when his mother casually told him goodbye before he left.  It was as if he was about to leave for school.  As if he wasn’t risking everything.  But he smiled and hugged his mother as he masked his anxiety.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew the plan.  Steve would drive him to work every day, pretending to be his older brother.  He would enter the building, pull on his lab coat, and meet Dr. Rigley who was supposed to train him.  But aside from following orders, his first official assignment from Hopper and the Party was to find El’s location in the building, assess the situation and give a report of basically what they were working with.  The first thing everyone needed was some insight on what exactly was happening within those walls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike sat in the passenger seat of Steve’s car, bouncing his leg anxiously as he drove.  Steve sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You nervous Wheeler?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike could only spitefully chuckle, “Pretty sure this summer has permanently raised my resting heart rate.  It’s weird, you’d think this would be less scary than fighting a giant monster who’s immediate goal is to kill us.  But for some reason this is scarier...maybe because I know these are people who are responsible for everything we’ve faced so far…”  Steve nodded, taking a moment to glance over at him as Mike continued.  “Before, we were fighting monsters,” he paused, “and somehow I feel like these human beings we’re now up against have less humanity than the monsters we’ve been fighting…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve frowned as he drove, and sat silently for a moment before he responded, “Then it’s nothing you haven’t done before.  Monsters are monsters, no matter what form they come in.  They can walk like men and talk like men but, if their actions make them monsters we’ll take them down like monsters.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike thought about that.  Sure, this would be different, but Steve was right.  Now that he thought of it, the Mind-Flayer monster from Starcourt was made of...innocent people, and thus had far more humanity than Dr. Brenner.  “At this point I just want to make sure she’s okay…” his voice broke as he turned to look out the window.  “That’s all I want.  Let Brenner burn, I just want her to be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, Mike.  Me too.  But that’s what you get to do.  Make sure she’s okay.  I know Murray told you a million different things about what you can and can’t do, but honestly...screw it.  If something feels right, I don’t care what you’ve been told.  Follow it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike nodded as their car approached a gate.  Steve had to flash their fake ID’s to the guard to get in, but slowly the gate opened, and Steve was able to pull around into the backlot of the new lab.  Mike felt his stomach clench at the sight of it.  It was massive with no windows and unsettling gray walls.  It did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> seem like a very welcoming place for a new intern, let alone for raising a kid.  He chewed on his cheek as Steve pulled into a parking spot next to a large windowless truck.  The same kind of dark truck that had whisked El away in the middle of the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here we are.  That’s the southeast entrance they told you to use,” he pointed at a steel door with a keycard entrance and two guards.  “If there’s an emergency you can shoot any of us a call.  You got this Wheeler,” Steve turned and held his hand out.  Mike gave a hopeful smile as he clasped his hand and leaned in for a hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks Steve.  I...I’ll see you later okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you later, kid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that he stepped out and tried to put on an air of confidence as he walked up to the guarded door.  He immediately thought about how much larger than him these guards were.  A million thoughts ran through his brain but his primary concern was:  what if they saw through his facade?  He’d be dead in 30 seconds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nevertheless he made it to the steel door.  A large guard with a freshly trimmed beard quirked his brow at him.  His heart began to pound rapidly as he fumbled to pull out his fake ID.  “Um hi...I’m James Miller...I’m the new intern?” he mentally slapped himself for the decidedly rough introduction.  He would have to get better at that.  The guards looked at the ID for a few moments before the second one began to dig in his pocket.  When he found what he was looking for, he gave it a quick glance before handing it over to Mike.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a card.  As he turned it over in his hands, he realized it had his ‘name’ and information on it.  It was his key card.  He released the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.  Maybe it helped that he wasn’t a very threatening looking person.  What bad intentions could a nerdy high school intern have?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guards didn’t say anything more to him.  They just stepped aside so that he could access the steel door.  He swiped the card through the scanner and heard bolts clicking and metal shifting before the massive door slid out of the way to reveal what looked like a small coat room.  Almost immediately after he stepped inside the door slid shut with a heavy thud and click.  It was a very nondescript room lined with lab coat racks, hooks, and small lockers.  There were a few scientists grabbing their bags as they leisurely walked past him without even giving him a second glance.  Maybe this would be easier than he thought.  He looked for his name and found his coat hanging on a metal hook in the corner.  It was a basic white lab coat with a name tag attached.  It was surreal to look at, but he slipped it on, eager to start his day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the center of the coat racks there was another metal door with the same key card entrance process.  Almost immediately after he entered the actual complex, he was faced with Dr. Rigley.  He didn’t even need to find him.  He had been waiting patiently for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dr. Rigley was a portly man in his 50’s with an easygoing smile and plenty of smile lines.  He was not what Mike pictured.  But the man greeted Mike very quickly, holding out his hand and smiling warmly.  “You must be James.  I’m Dr. Franklin Rigley, but please call me Frank.  Dr. Brenner was so glad to find out he was getting some extra help around here!” the man chuckled good naturedly as they shook hands and began walking through the clinical white walls of the lab.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike’s brain almost short circuited at his words, “I’ll be working with Dr. Brenner?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yes you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> his intern,” he smiled at Mike’s confusion, then it seemed he decided to explain when he saw the astounded look on Mike’s face.  “When it comes to interns we usually look at what area of science you specialize in and send you in that direction.  Your specific interest in biomedicine and biochemistry really got his attention considering that plays heavily into his current primary experiment.  You must be extremely talented; Brenner’s never taken on an intern before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His jaw almost dropped.  There were too many thoughts to process, but he held it together.  He only nodded and forced out a sentence, “I’ve heard </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span> things.  I’m really grateful to have the opportunity to work with him.”  He was proud that he came off even a little bit composed since his stomach was doing actual somersaults without his permission.  “Am I going to be meeting him today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dr. Rigley, no, Frank, simply nodded as he led him down several confusing corridors that all looked the same.  There were other men in lab coats milling around, and Mike had to wonder what all they even did in this massive place.  Why did they need so many of them?  How many other messed up experiments were happening here?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> have to sign a few non disclosure agreements.  One of the fun little parts of a government job.  That won’t be an issue will it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head, “No, not at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good. Here’s my office.”  He led Mike into a small office with a desk that was absolutely swamped with papers.  “Pardon the mess,” he said as he began scanning the packets and stacks of information for the forms.  Mike awkwardly sat down in the stiff blue chair across from the desk and took this time to scan the room for cameras.  He didn’t find any, but he couldn’t be sure there weren’t any hidden ones.  If he was going to speak to El, he’d need to know where it was safe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t seem to find them anywhere,” Frank mumbled, flipping through papers with one hand nervously on his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A lightbulb flashed in Mike’s head and he casually joked, “Maybe you could check the security footage to remember where you set them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frank laughed.  “Hah!  Wouldn’t that be nice?  If only we had the budget, then I’d never misplace anything in here again!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So there was his answer.  No cameras in private offices.  He could work with that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh!  Found them!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eleven knew her day of rest would be very short lived, but that didn’t keep the butterflies in her stomach from returning when Papa came to her room saying it was another “big day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you sleep well?” he asked her as several men in lab coats surrounded her, removing her IV, and detaching her from all of the machines.  She looked away from Papa to monitor what all they were doing to her.  None of them would look her in the eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great.  Today we are going to focus on that battery of yours and make sure it’s working like it needs to,” he ruffled her hair as he spoke, and all at once an inexplicably visceral feeling of sadness washed over her as memories of Hopper flooded her senses.  If he were here, her head wouldn’t be pounding and her leg wouldn’t feel like a load of concrete.  Her eyes wouldn’t be puffy from tears.  She had a single moment of clarity that the man she was forced to call Papa was in so many ways a perversion of what a father should be.  He wasn’t going to test her battery so that she could be comfortable and happy with her abilities.  He was going to make her use herself up until she was back in this very bed with tears in her eyes once more.  She recoiled from his touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s the matter, Eleven?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You-” she paused, “-just want to hurt me,” she mumbled as the thought grew bigger and bigger in her brain.  Everything he did, he said it was for her own good.  For her own good, for her own benefit, for her own betterment.  He was being selfless in his own eyes.  But never once did she feel fulfilled by any of his “tests.”  Never once did she fall asleep with a grin on her face because of all the “good” he was doing her.  And once that thought began to churn in her mind, she couldn’t stop it from snowballing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Papa looked shocked and offended.  “Oh no no no dear Eleven; Papa doesn’t want to hurt you,”  he said in a very gentle voice while his hand smoothed over her hair to tuck it behind her ear.  It made her shudder uncomfortably.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She just shook her head and closed her eyes,  “But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  You </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> hurt me.  If what you do is good for me then why-?” she bit her lip as her face grew hot and her vision began to swim, “-then </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> does it always hurt?” she looked back at him as she felt warmth running down her cheeks.  She was not ashamed of these tears.  She clenched her jaw and looked into his eyes with all of the boldness and ferocity that she had felt herself losing ever since she was taken.  She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was angry because she found herself falling back into old painful patterns.  She was angry because yesterday she had been so incredibly thankful that Papa...</span>
  <em>
    <span>Brenner</span>
  </em>
  <span>...had given her a single day to rest after essentially mutilating her already injured leg.  She was angry because every minute she spent in this barbarous place she felt more and more like the broken child who looked to her Papa for safety and comfort only to be thrown carelessly into a dark empty room.  She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry,</span>
  </em>
  <span> because this man had brainwashed her to love him.  He had handcrafted the lens of fear through which she saw the world.  And now he wanted to haul her off to some room and make her use up the little energy she had.  Energy that </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be used to help heal her broken body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She could tell he was shocked by her sudden change in behavior, but he was quick to respond to her growing anger.  He pulled a chair up to her bed and sat down, reaching for her hand, but she pulled it away.  “I promise you, every single test is to make you better, Eleven.  You can see yourself how you have improved and grown more powerful over the years.  What we do here is invest in the future.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she was still furious.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Better?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  I can’t walk!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not right now, but you will soon.  Here, let me give you an example of how I do the same things you do.”  He shifted in his chair and relaxed a bit, but Eleven did not relax. “I’m a doctor.  That means I had to go to school for a very long time to get that title.  I spent many long nights studying unbelievably boring material, and I took tests too.  These tests were to make sure I knew what I was doing, and they made me good at what I do.  But it made me very tired, and I didn’t get to relax very much.  Studying all those hours made my head hurt too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She tried to process his words.  Was that really the way life was supposed to be?  Live in perpetual pain for the sake of some unseen achievement?  Is that what he had done?  It didn’t make any sense whatsoever.  She was sick and tired of the hurt.  “But you could walk!  You went to school!  You...you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When people want to grow stronger they have to exercise.  But that is painful.  It leaves muscles sore and tired, but then those muscles grow stronger and more powerful.  Your special abilities are the same way.  Your battery is fixed-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>NEED</span>
  </em>
  <span> a battery!  I don’t need any of these things!  I could be normal!  Why can’t I be normal?”  He reached for her again and this time she felt an uncontrolled blast of energy release from her body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She stared in horror as both Brenner and his chair flew across the room and slammed into the wall.  The chair shattered and he slumped to the ground.  She froze, ignoring the trickle of blood on her upper lip and the sudden dizziness that saturated her brain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Had she killed him?  She hadn’t meant to kill him.  “P-Papa?” her voice shook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then he groaned from his place on the floor.  His forehead was bleeding.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no oh no oh no.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  “Eleven,” he groaned as he pushed himself to a seated position.  His gaze had turned cold.  His eyes were vicious blades, and he never broke eye contact while he pulled a small remote from his pocket.  It had a single red button.  He pressed it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took less than thirty seconds for her to be yanked from her bed by giant men who burst through the door.  Her heart leapt to her throat and panic surged through her veins like ice water.  “PAPA!  I’M SORRY!  PAPA!  PAPA!” she sobbed as she was lifted from the floor and dragged out of the room.  “PAPA PLEASE!”  But the arms that dragged her along were like steel as she thrashed in their grasp.  “PAPA!”  He had a look on his rigid face that was truly merciless.  He would make sure she </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> did that again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dizziness made it difficult to focus, but she knew he could see the tears in her eyes as she was forced into the hallway.  She tried to summon her powers to release her from their iron grip, but exhaustion had already set in, and she was left desperately fighting in their arms as she watched the entrance to her room grow smaller and smaller.  “PAPA!!!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then time slowed to a stop.  They turned left, and as they yanked her down the new corridor her heart stopped as her gaze fell upon two soft familiar brown eyes, wide with horror.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mike.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had signed the papers and finished his training relatively quickly considering he had been so anxious to meet Brenner and begin his “mission.”  Everything went wrong, however, when he heard the screams.  Brenner worked three levels underground, and Mike had just exited the elevator and was on his way to find his office when that horrible sound met his ears.  He had heard that scream before.  It ignited his adrenaline like no monster ever could.  His feet moved without thought, and he found himself sprinting down the halls towards her cries.  He blew past confused scientists and turned corridor after corridor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he saw her face and the whole world stopped.  Her face.  Her fear stricken, tear stained face, upper lip streaked with blood.  Clad in a hospital gown and heavy bandaging on her leg, she stopped fighting her assailants when their eyes met.  It was like the breath was stolen directly from his lungs and a bowling ball was launched into his gut.  He swiftly pressed a finger to his lips.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t say my name.  Please don’t say my name.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her trembling lips closed at once, and she gave a nearly imperceptible hazy nod as she was aggressively pulled past him.  He wanted more than anything to run after her.  He wanted more than anything to knock the lights out of the giant men who were yanking his love to an unknown unfavorable location.  But he couldn’t.  He couldn’t mess up his chance to help her.  His eyes stayed trained on El’s glassy ones until she was shoved down a new corridor, and just before she disappeared from his view he spotted an exhausted, rebellious smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he was alone in the hall, staring at an empty white corridor with his heart on his sleeve, tears on his cheeks, and a lump in his throat.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>They finally got to see each other again!  Poor Mike had to watch his girlfriend get dragged away and couldn't do anything about it, but he is dedicated to doing whatever it will take to help her long term.</p>
<p>Guys this is only going to get darker so please be prepared for that.</p>
<p>Also please share your thoughts with me! I get so excited to hear from you guys!  I respond to every comment!</p>
<p>Thank's ya'll!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Boss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mike meets Dr. Brenner for the first time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guys I am so sorry I missed the posting date!  I am actually visiting family right now and have not had time alone to just write.  But I found an extra hour or two and was able to get this up!  Trigger warning as always. You know the drill.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eleven’s mind was spinning when she was tossed into the familiar dark room, the heavy metal door slamming shut behind her.  For a moment she didn’t even register where she was.  She could only think about Mike.  He was here.  He hadn’t given up on her.  Somehow...somehow he made it in and was posing as a...scientist?  She had no clear idea as to how in the world he pulled that off, but she didn’t care, because she didn’t have to figure all of this out alone anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But before long the shock and excitement of seeing her boyfriend wore off as her reality set in, and flashbacks of many cold dark hours in isolation began to swirl around her brain.  Mike could be killed out there while she was trapped in the dark.  Anything could happen to him and she would have no idea.  And she also had no idea how long they were going to keep her in here.  In the past they had left her until she was tired and  hungry enough that she wouldn’t consider anything short of complete compliance.  It made her nauseous to think about as she dragged her tired body to the back corner of the room, leaning weakly against the wall.  The ways she had been manipulated.  How quickly she began to fall back into the mindset of blaming herself.  But something had clicked now, and she was struggling with herself, trying to keep from sinking back into the false safety Brenner provided.  She had cried out to him like a child as she’d been dragged off into this dark chamber.  She had proven once more the power he still had over her.  The power she worried he would always have no matter how hard she fought him.  No matter how hard she fought herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She couldn’t change the fact that he had raised her.  Yes, he had hurt her many times over the years, but there was a time when he was the only person who would look her in the eye.  There was a time when he was the only person who would hold her when she cried.  There was a time when he was the one human being who showed her what kindness looked like, even if it was short lived.  And she </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> him.  She hated him with everything she had, but deep down there was a sick part of her heart that loved him too.  A part of her that still believed he was doing what he believed to be best for her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She knew it was wrong.  Hopper was the only father figure in her life who had deserved her gratitude.  He had told her a million times as he talked her down from nightmares that he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> make her live those experiences again, that he wasn’t like Papa, and she was safe now.  He would sooner die than let anything hurt her again.  Because he cared.  He cared about her like a real dad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he was right.  He didn’t lie.  As long as he lived, he made sure she was safe.  She pressed her palms to her eyes as a sob tore out of her chest.  She missed him.  She missed him so so much, and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.  The world was cruel like that.  It gave her a taste of life and handed her back into the clutches of death, leaving only bittersweet memories to remind her that there was a world out there that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>good.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as it felt like the walls were beginning to close in on her, she remembered the soft, deeply pained brown eyes of the boy who had risked everything to come find her, and the tightness in her chest released a bit.  She may not have had a father right now, but she </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> have people who cared about her.  And she had Mike—beautiful, goofy, gentle Mike.  And if there was anyone she trusted more than anything it would be him.  He gave her what she thought was lost.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hope.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave her a kind of hope that twisted and grew and spread until a real smile pulled on her lips.  Because of him, she thought she might make it.  For him she would survive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  He spun around from where he was still staring at the empty hallway where his precious girlfriend had just been viciously dragged away.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he turned his gaze drifted upward until they met the very cold, calculating eyes of the man he knew had to be Dr. Martin Brenner.  He had a bandage on his forehead, and he looked a little worse for wear.  Mike could immediately connect the dots.  Eleven got fed up, hurt him, and because he was furious at the fact that he didn’t have the kind of power over her that he thought he did, he sent her off to somewhere else while he dealt with the issue.  The rush of emotions that filled his heart and head when he laid eyes on the infamous man was indescribable.  This was the man he had heard so many breathless stories about in the dead of night.  Mike couldn’t sort his disgust from his anger, or his sadness from his fear, but one thing was for sure: more than anything he wanted to see Brenner dead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The image of Eleven’s tear stained face resurfaced in his mind.  The panicked desperation on her face before their eyes met.  He remembered the </span>
  <em>
    <span>smile</span>
  </em>
  <span> that had just barely taken shape on her lips before she had disappeared behind the walls.  She smiled at him while being dragged towards dark uncertainty, and it left him feeling unsettled.  There was no way Brenner was getting out of this one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up at the injured man who began to speak, “I take it you’re my new intern?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike didn’t know if it was a bad thing that Brenner knew he had seen El get dragged away screaming, but he didn’t plan on mentioning it unless it was brought up.  “Yes sir.  Are you Dr. Brenner?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A warm smile crossed his features easily.  Too easily for the man responsible for Eleven’s nightmares, Mike thought.  “That would be me.  I’m glad to have you here, James.  I apologize that your introduction had to be so dramatic.  I’m sure things don’t look so great from what you saw.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike swallowed nervously as his eyes darted everywhere except for at Brenner.  “I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, please don’t worry at all.  I would be worried too if that was all I saw.  How about we take a walk and I explain my experiment to you?” He sounded calm, reassuring even.  Mike didn’t like how soothing his voice was or how relaxed his personality was.  It was too stark of a contrast to his wicked actions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I trust your judgement.  I’m sure there was a good reason for what I saw,” Mike tried to make sure Brenner knew he was on his side.  Even if it was imaginary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Our country is under the immense threat of war with Russia, as you know.  If we had a means for protection that could prevent our troops from dying, you would like that, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you also agree that a single life is a fitting sacrifice if it saves thousands who would have died otherwise?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.  If one life can save thousands then that’s the smart way to go.  It’s a no brainer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That is precisely what I am doing here, James.  My experiment, I call her Eleven, was born in a lab, raised in a lab, and she’ll stay here until she is needed to protect our country.  Eleven can do incredible things: move objects with her mind, tune in to conversations across the world, find any individual no matter the location, and make various objects combust.  If we can harness that kind of power and use it for our national security, there’s no limit to the benefits.  Believe me when I say it pains me to see her so distraught, but we don’t do anything here that isn’t absolutely necessary.  She got upset and used her powers on me.  That could be a threat to my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike simply nodded, because he felt a boiling anger deep in his soul that he was afraid might overflow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, as you work with me, you may think some of the punishments for Eleven’s bad behavior are extreme, but I would argue otherwise.  If her abilities are used in an uncontrolled way, anyone here at the lab could be hurt or killed.  If she somehow got out of the lab the public would be in grave danger.  A super weapon turned against the people.   So that is why we have to make sure if she uses her powers on one of us, there is a fitting punishment in order to protect innocent lives as best we can,” Brenner explained smoothly, with a bit of pride even, glancing down at Mike as they walked.  The man looked at him curiously, as though there was something he wasn’t saying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Mike couldn’t seem to get over the ease with which Brenner had justified the actual torture of a living breathing human being.  He couldn’t tell if the man was playing a role or truly believed he was being humane.  But Mike bit his tongue.  He had been known to say too much, to ramble.  He swallowed uncomfortably before asking, “What kind of punishments </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> you see fit?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brenner sighed and looked back down at Mike.  “None of this is going to sound pleasant, but just know that it has kept staff like you and me safe,” he paused for a moment, and Mike could feel his insides shifting uncomfortably as he waited to hear about the horrible things El had told him about in shaky breaths.  And he waited to hear the things she would never tell him about.  “One frequent method we use is solitary confinement.  It’s a quick way to break down the human mind and instill obedience.  It’s effects don’t tend to be long-lasting, however.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike nodded even though he could feel his face heating up.  She had told him about this one.  It was why she was still afraid of the dark.  It was why she was afraid of tight spaces.  It was why she had a panic attack that first time he tried to hide her in his closet as a child.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stay calm, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he told himself.  Mike could tell Dr. Brenner was carefully watching his face for indicators of how receptive he was.  He suddenly realized he should not be playing an empathetic intern.  If he wanted to hear about what would make a normal person draw back in horror, he had to be a little more cold-hearted.  And so he steeled himself for the words he didn’t want to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Solitary’s a good idea, but it seems like a light punishment for disobedience.  Especially when you’re trying to do important work to protect the country.  Anything that gets in the way is a serious offense,” he looked to Brenner for approval and tried to ignore how revolted with himself he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something shifted in the older man’s expression.  It was like a veil began to lift.  “I see you’re a like minded individual,” he gave a subtle smile.  The change was frightening, because in an instant he could see there was a stone cold sadist just beneath the surface.  It was something about his eyes.  Mike forced himself to maintain eye contact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, of course.  Anything for science.  After all, it's just one person.  Every lab rat serves a purpose and I don’t see how this is any different,” he asserted, trying to seem confident all the while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I agree completely.  I think we’ll get along just fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike smiled, not because he agreed, but because he had fooled him.  “Are there any other strategies that work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brenner nodded, “Plenty.  You have to understand that the entire goal is control.  How do you prevent the dangerous actions of someone you cannot control?  To put it simply, you cannot.  And so you must have complete control over an experiment in order to maintain safety.  But controlling a human being isn’t a simple task, and it often involves...well...breaking down the mind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Breaking down the mind?  Huh, that’s an interesting concept.  Care to elaborate?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.  You see, in order to bring a human being to a state of the highest level of  suggestibility you have to break them down physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Once they’ve reached that point they are like clay for you to mold.  The trick is finding ways to achieve that complete mental break.  One strategy is betrayal.  Another is physical pain.  Another is emotional trauma.  If I can combine all three into one and have a single method that encapsulates betrayal, physical pain, and emotional trauma, then I’ve hit the jackpot.  That would make it quicker and easier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike almost failed to hide his disgust, but he kept up his facade.  “I’d be extremely interested to find out how you’ve achieved that result.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think maybe it would be better to show you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike panicked.  He didn’t want this sicko to go get El just to harm her for his sake.  “I-I’d also really like to hear about it now, if...that’s alright,” he cringed at himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brenner gave him a curious look, before he said, “Well alright.  The quick run down is that we use electric shocks, various experimental drugs, sleep deprivation, exhaustion via ability overuse, and on the rare occasion physical laceration or injury in order to achieve the mental break we are looking for—to maintain obedience.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike wanted to vomit, and he was sure he looked an awful lot paler than usual.  He hoped Brenner didn’t notice.  “Has...has that worked for you so far?” he forced out.  Keep talking, he told himself.  Try not to think too much about it.  Try not to picture it.  If he let himself dwell he’d do something regrettable.  Focus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mostly, however you would be surprised how quickly that control I was talking about can be lost.  This bandage is a testament to that,” he gestured to the large white bandage on his forehead, and shook his head.  “The stronger these special abilities grow the more difficult it is to control Eleven.  And that poses a grave danger to everyone working in this lab.  That’s the problem I’m currently faced with.  I don’t suppose you have any ideas?  Maybe a fresh set of eyes and ears could help remedy the situation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike just stared at him as his brain scrambled for an answer.  What was he supposed to do?  He wasn’t going to offer this man any advice on how to further traumatize the girl he came here to protect.  “I...I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled easily, but it didn’t look reassuring under the flickering fluorescent light above them.  “That’s alright.  I shouldn’t expect a high schooler to have the answers I’m still searching for myself,” he looked deep in thought for a moment before pausing at a door.  “Anyhow, enough about that.  You’ll learn plenty about my experiment as we go.  This is my office.  If you have any questions or need anything this is where you might find me,” he spoke as he led Mike into his office.  It was large and spacious and rigidly organized.  His desk had perfect stacks of folders and files.  He walked casually over to a drawer and pulled out a small vial.  “Your first task is to have this blood sample analyzed.  You’re going to have to deliver it to Dr. Krausky on the 5th level.  He knows what we’re looking for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike took the vial and nodded, “Yes, sir.”  And with that he left.  From there his day was surprisingly unremarkable.  El wasn’t mentioned again by Brenner and he was sent around the lab doing menial tasks.  Transporting samples, sorting papers, and even delivering coffee.  He had to record numbers for a few lab animals like rats and rabbits.  But the end of the day soon came, and he had to leave.  He had to leave his love behind knowing all too well that she was suffering.  He had to leave her with Brenner’s careless words spinning and twisting in his mind.  His brain kept going back to when the wicked man listed off torture methods like another fact of life.  Like it was something he even got pleasure out of.  It was so deeply disturbing, he thought as he hung up his lab coat.  His heart ached as he walked out the door, past a new set of guards and out to Steve’s car.  When he got in he was silent until the car passed the lab gates and was well down the road back to Hawkins.  Then Steve finally spoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So...how was your day?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Brenner’s a fucking psychopath.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we’re getting right to it then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike sighed and pressed his face into his hands as he released a maddened shout, suddenly slamming his fist against the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey careful there Wheeler this car is new-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-I saw her Steve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car went quiet.  Steve raised his eyebrows.  “On the first day?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Murray did a good job with the application because I’m Dr. Brenner’s intern.  I wasn’t supposed to, but I saw these giant men dragging El through the hallways and-and she was screaming.  I don’t know where they took her but Steve, she looked horrible!  She’s paler than I’ve ever seen her in my life and I swear it looks like she hasn’t slept in days.  And her leg is so bad she couldn’t hardly even stand on her own!” Mike opened his mouth and the floodgates finally released.  All of his feelings he bottled up during the day rushed forth like a mighty river.  “But she saw me, and she </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiled.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Even with everything happening she </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiled.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  I just get so sick thinking about what they’re doing to her in there.  Steve, it’s bad,” his voice drew down to a whisper and he leaned his head against the cool window of the car.  He had so many thoughts in his brain but he couldn’t seem to sort them out.  He felt strange after pretending to be someone else for a whole day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally Steve spoke, or rather mumbled under his breath, “Sick fucker…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-And...and he talks about the things he does to her like they’re...!  Like they’re everyday activities that don’t even phase him remotely—and I just have to nod and </span>
  <em>
    <span>agree</span>
  </em>
  <span> or I’ll give myself away!” Mike could feel himself shaking.  His own words sounded like mad talk.  “I’m just terrified that he’s gonna ask me to do something I can’t…I don’t wanna see her hurt, Steve...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed, “I don’t know what to tell you Wheeler.  There isn’t a single part of this situation that isn’t absolutely fucked.  You just have to remember that without you there, Brenner would still be doing terrible things.  Even if you feel like you aren’t helping, you are.  Just being there and </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> is helping.  I guarantee you just by being there you’ve gathered information Hopper, Murray, and Joyce will find useful.  We just have to be patient.  It won’t take long for a plan to come together.  We’ll get her out soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike made an attempt at a smile.  Steve was right.  Being there had to be helpful in some way.  Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was just being ridiculous in expecting things to happen rapidly.  They weren’t going to be able to break her out with one day of information.  He needed to be a little more patient.  And he would try.  But he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> the moment he saw those innocent brown eyes again all of that patience would disappear.  Because soon couldn’t be soon enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After Mike spoke to Chief Hopper about every detail of his day, he was able to go home and sleep.  But his mind would not let him rest.  He heard Brenner’s calm soothing voice in his ear.  His bitter words.  They sank into his mind like a thick poison.  His eyes were trained on his dark ceiling.  He groaned with frustration and mumbled aloud, “El just please hold on.  Please be strong for me…I promise I’m doing everything I can...”  he bit his lip as he held back tears.  But just before he drifted off the soft hesitant voice of his love echoed softly through his Supercom, “I know, Mike.  I am.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There you have it guys!  I'll try and write more this week to make up for how late this is.  Please feel free to let me know what you guys think!  Your comments from this last chapter made my whole heart explode!</p>
<p>As we move forward you will see more Mike/El interaction so get ready!</p>
<p>Love you all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An anxious Mike finally gets to see El again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am still alive and very much committed to this story! I'm sorry this took so long!  This chapter is significantly longer than the others because I took 2 weeks to write it and also because I couldn't seem to find a convenient stopping point where I would normally post!</p><p>So this one is a lil longer and features some lil bits of fluff along with the usual angst.  Not sure if there's anything triggering in here but trigger warning just in case.</p><p>On with the show!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It took three days at the lab before Mike got a chance to see Eleven again.  In that time he focused on mapping out the building, scoping for cameras, and observing the security procedures of the place.  All of that information was reported back to Hopper at the end of the day who would then share it with Joyce and Murray and the rest of the gang.  While Mike spent his days at the lab secretly scribbling in his notepad, the rest of the gang pored over maps and drew up potential plans.  Even though he couldn’t see El, he knew he was being helpful.  He thought about what Steve said.  Just being there and gathering information was useful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But those three days passed and when he returned to Brenner’s office after delivering a folder to another scientist (he 100% snooped through the folder), he found Brenner standing at the door waiting for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you get that folder to Dr. Burwick?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir.  He told me to thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.  You’ve done a stellar job this week.  I’m about to go check on my experiment, and I thought you might like to come with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike’s heart rate skyrocketed.  This is what he had been waiting for and yet there was a fear brewing in his stomach that he didn’t quite know how to address.  “I-I’d love to come with if you’d allow it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man just smiled crookedly and it sent a shot of adrenaline through his veins.  “Well of course.  If you are going to be my intern you will have to learn how to work with my most important experiment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike just gulped and nodded, “Lead the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El had lost track of the time she was locked in her dark cell.  She had been through this before, and the best strategy was to do her best to avoid counting the hours; counting the days.  She made her home in the corner with her head resting against the wall.  Occasionally she would sprawl out on the floor and try to meditate; try to get her mind off of her leg, which now felt like a stiff board laden with nails.  But she couldn’t keep from shivering in her thin hospital gown.  It was the only clothing she’d ever been allowed to wear in the lab.  As a child it was all she had known, though it had been cold, but now it made her feel both exposed and uncomfortable.  Curled tightly in a ball was where she could stay the warmest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They let her out to use the restroom twice, but they kept her blindfolded outside of the cell and they didn’t give her any food or any water.  Truthfully, she thought the bathroom breaks were more about them not wanting to clean up a mess than about her personal health and wellbeing.  But that didn’t surprise her.  Not much did anymore.  And she didn’t have the strength to care much.  She was dehydrated and her stomach was practically gnawing itself to pieces.  The only thing that reminded her life could possibly improve was the knowledge that Mike had been here.  He had come for her.  If he could risk his life just for the chance at helping her escape then she could push through whatever nightmares the lab had to offer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She visited him the first night after she saw him; after she had been locked in the darkness following their brief meeting.  She had realized that the perfect darkness and complete silence allowed her enough sensory deprivation to reach the void.  It was then that she saw him lying in bed with shiny eyes, desperately whispering for her to be strong for him.  That he was trying.  That he was doing his best for her.  He had the most tragic look on his lovesick face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had touched her so deeply that she whispered her reassurance aloud to him, and the way his eyes widened told her that he had heard it.  The reminder that she was still someone to him gave her a sense of strength and an intrinsic ferocity that she knew would be all but lost if he hadn’t turned up.  So that is what she chose to focus on.  She hadn’t had the strength to visit him again after that night, but she held onto his words like she used to hold onto the single stuffed animal she had received as a child.  Mike’s words stoked the fire in her soul and she vowed that when Brenner let her out she would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> crawl to him begging for forgiveness.  Not this time.  Not again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the door finally opened after what felt like ages, she squinted her eyes towards the light from her place in the corner.  It took her a moment to adjust to the light; a moment for her eyes to fall on the face of the man she slammed into the wall in a surge of anxiety.  A confusing rush of adrenaline pulsed through her veins.  She wasn’t sure what this was going to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Brenner spoke.  There was a softness in his expression as he said, “I forgive you dearest Eleven.  We have a big day today.  Are you ready to cooperate with Papa?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  There was a large piece of her that wanted nothing more than to just give in and promise to do whatever he wanted if only he would give her something to drink.  If only he would let her eat and rest in a real bed even for just one day.  But that was just what he wanted.  She knew that acting out could cause danger for Mike if he was still in the lab, but she didn’t have to beg at the man’s feet.  She would simply cooperate, but she would not give him any satisfaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so instead of bursting into tears, which she couldn’t do if she wanted to since she was so horribly dehydrated, she locked eyes with Brenner and set her jaw.  Her throat was like sandpaper, but nonetheless she licked her chapped lips before croaking, “This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>love, Papa.”  She refused to look away from his piercing gaze, though her eyelids felt heavy.  His eyes held a challenge, and for once she rose to meet it.  “But you can’t hurt me like this anymore.”  Her voice was soft.  It wasn’t as strong as she would have liked it to sound, but even speaking those words took a level of courage that came with the reminder of her own humanity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El could see the shock registering on his features.  She had never come out of isolation with accusations before.  Usually she was so desperate to get out of that cold claustrophobic space that she wouldn’t speak for days afterwards if only to keep from upsetting him again.  But the thought occurred to her that maybe if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that she recognized this treatment as wrong he wouldn’t lock her away like this again.  If he knew it didn’t work anymore maybe he’d stop.  Maybe…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally he spoke, “You know that I love you, Eleven.  Everything we do here is for you.  You have to understand that it was a very bad thing—what you did.”  He carefully walked forward into her cell and knelt down to her level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned.  “I-I didn’t mean to—I was upset—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—You can see the danger in that, can’t you?  When you get upset and lash out like that...it’s monstrous behavior.  You don’t want to be a monster, now do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words were like a wickedly sharp ice pick to her heart.  An old healed wound he just had to puncture.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am a monster,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she thought to herself.  Deep down she knew this.  It wasn’t new information.  It wasn’t a surprise.  But it </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> hurt.  All of the people she’d harmed...killed.  Mike had always shut her down when she began to spiral down this specific path of thinking, but she knew it was because he didn’t see.  He didn’t see her in Chicago, embarking on a mission to kill when she wasn’t even being threatened.  She </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> dangerous.  And she knew she wasn’t exactly a good person either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the one who had made her this way.  “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> a monster...” she began, her nerves were rattling but she forced herself to look him dead in the eye.  “I am...like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brenner’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  Her immediate instinct was to shrink away from him, but she was already slumped against the wall.  She knew she should have bit her tongue, but something inside of her was sick of being silent.  Too many unspoken words had built up and the dam was going to break sooner or later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you truly think of your Papa as a monster?” He remained calm.  His voice stayed gentle.  He looked hurt.  Heartbroken even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she looked into his seemingly concerned gaze she felt herself consumed with a bizarre desire to protect his feelings.  A bizarre desire to reassure him in spite of her pain.  Undeserved empathy met her anger and she shamefully began to take back her former statement, “I-I mean...it’s just...n-no…” she now felt cornered above all else and she was going to do everything it took to get out of this cell.  Suddenly bravery didn’t matter so much anymore.  She said what she meant once.  Maybe one day she’d have the strength to say it again without going back.  But today wasn’t that day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile appeared on his face.  “I knew you didn’t mean it.  You’re tired aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her chest flooded with relief and she felt herself nod hesitantly.  Once again, he won.  “Just...tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course you are.  I have a new friend I’d love for you to meet while we get you some food and water.  Does that sound okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened and she knew if she wasn’t so parched her mouth would be watering at the very mention of a meal.  Sure, meeting a new ‘friend’ didn’t wasn’t usually a good thing, but she didn’t have the mental strength to care at the moment.  She nodded once more.  He chuckled at her response and leaned in to pick her up.  She groaned as he lifted her from the cold floor and stepped into the brightly lit hallway.  She pressed her face into his shoulder as he walked.  The movement highlighted just how badly her leg was faring after being reopened, and she hissed at the bouncing motion of walking, “Papa...my leg.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll get it taken care of when we get to your room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike sat in a chair seated next to the bed that he knew belonged to Eleven.  The sheets were pure white, but he didn’t miss the dull bloodstains towards the foot of the bed.  He looked down at his hands and realized that he was obsessively fiddling with his lab coat sleeves.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Get it together,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he told himself.  But his brain was running on overload knowing that the next time Brenner walked in he would be with El.  He had to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> careful not to give himself away when he spoke to her.  This could mean his life if it went wrong.  He needed to keep his story straight.  He would have to-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his thoughts were cut short when the door opened and Brenner entered the room with a nearly limp Eleven in his arms.  He could feel his jaw involuntarily drop as his heart leapt to his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Mike stared at her crumpled form there were no words that could describe the cocktail of heartache and righteous fury that fiercely mixed within him.  She looked even worse than the last time he saw her.  The circles under her eyes had darkened and made a stark contrast on her sickly pale skin.  There was dried blood crusted on her upper lip and her left leg looked to be clearly swollen.  Not to mention she was beginning to bleed through the bandaging that should have been changed days ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike wanted to scream.  He wanted to grab a knife and end Brenner for good.  He wanted to destroy everyone and everything that was responsible for taking the girl he loved and reducing her to this state.  His voice was caught in his throat as he watched her expression shift from dazed confusion to pure adoration the moment her dark eyes fell on him.  She looked at him like he was the moon and the stars.  The very moment he realized his expression was that of a heartbroken love struck boyfriend, he panicked and shut his mouth, but his heart did not stop thundering in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brenner carried Eleven with a tenderness that Mike thought to be uncharacteristic of the man.  As Mike watched him softly lay his love down on her bed, with an almost imperceptible whimper from her, all he could think about was their conversation where Brenner listed out torture methods like a shopping list.  Bread, milk, eggs, solitary confinement…  There was a dissonance between this outward fatherly facade and the man Mike knew him to be, and it left him feeling deeply disturbed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eleven, this is our new friend,” Brenner spoke to El as if he were speaking to a child.  “His name is James and he is going to be helping me take care of you.  Don’t worry, I promise he is very friendly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike almost chuckled at the confused expression that flashed over El’s face when Brenner called him James.  It reminded him of all of the moments she would stop dead in her tracks with that same confused expression on her face to ask him about a new word or why certain traditions existed.  That was back when Hopper’s watchful eye was the worst they had to worry about.  The smile died before it reached his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James...”  El tested the word in her mouth.  Just the sound of her nearly hoarse voice made him want to climb in the bed, pull her to his chest, and whisper promises in her ear until she knew she was safe once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to respond when Brenner spoke again, “Yes.  James.”  Mike watched as Brenner walked over to the metal tables on the side of the room with various items and began grabbing a bowl of water and a washcloth.  He then walked back and turned to look at Mike, “Here, why don’t you take care of the blood on her face while I get her leg fixed up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes darted back and forth between his girlfriend and her tormentor before he nodded and grabbed the bowl from his hands.  It was a metal bowl, and it wasn’t very large, but he noticed it was warm.  At least the man had the decency to heat the water up.  Brenner quickly began to busy himself with her bandages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike tried to put a smile on his face as he set the bowl in his lap and leaned over to where El laid.  She looked up at him innocently, a question in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you, Eleven,” he said as he dipped the cloth into the warm water and squeezed it out.  “I hope we can be friends.  I’ve...heard great things about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him as if to say, </span>
  <em>
    <span>How are you even here?  How did you pull this off?  What am I supposed to say?  What’s the story we’re selling here? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a smile pull on the corners of his mouth as she responded with a raised brow, “You...want to be friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.  I’d love to be friends.  I’m gonna clean the blood off of your face.  Is...is that okay with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El opened her mouth to speak but Brenner cut her off, “Of course that’s okay.  You don’t have to ask.  Isn’t that right Eleven?”  He was busy removing the soiled bandaging from her leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike watched as El’s expression fell, and a quiet, “Right,” met his ears.  And right then he felt something inside of him break.  He thought back to that rainy night when he first met her and she looked at him like an alien for always asking her if she was okay; if she was uncomfortable or even if she wanted anything.  Now he could see right in front of him how Brenner had raised her to believe free will was not something that belonged to her.  He bit his tongue before he said anything regrettable.  Because he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of choice words running through his brain like a cyclone right now.  Instead of speaking, he saw that Brenner wasn’t looking, and so he dropped his scientist facade for just a second and reached for her right hand.  She laced her fingers in his and he squeezed, shooting her a look that said,  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I will get you out of here even if it kills me.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Or at least that’s what he hoped she gathered from his expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she responded with a brave smile, he wordlessly let her hand go, reached for the rough grey washcloth, and began to gently wipe away the blood that was dried to her skin.  She watched him the whole time, barely even flinching when Brenner was messing with her leg.  Looking at her expression was like watching a child seeing Santa for the first time; all starry eyed and wonderstruck.  Her gaze made him feel like a hero, though he was sure that wasn’t true.  But nevertheless she looked at him as if it were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he had no way of telling her how he felt out loud so he told her through touch.  He told her through the way he delicately cupped her cheek to hold her head still, brushing mussy curls out of her face.  He told her through the gentle way he let his thumb brush over her cheekbone.  He told her through the way he discreetly rubbed circles on her goosebump ridden arm when she would hiss at Brenner’s quick careless wound cleaning methods.  He couldn’t speak but he was still determined to tell her everything she needed to know about why he was here.  And he could tell by the conflicted look on her face that she felt uneasy about him being in such close proximity to such a dangerous man; that she felt guilty that she was the reason.  But that didn’t matter to him.  He would trade places with her in a heartbeat so this was the least he could do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It brought him a level of comfort he hadn’t expected to just maintain physical contact with her.  It reminded him that she was still here; that she was alive and wasn’t going to just disappear like last time.  It settled his nerves to simply look into her eyes: dark, warm, and safe, as he slowly rubbed the warm cloth over her smooth skin.  Even when she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut to stifle a pained gasp in response to Brenner’s bandaging job, he was able to stay calm knowing he was present to be the strength she didn’t have access to before.  He was always much better at fighting with love anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But their moment was interrupted when Brenner finished with her leg and spoke, “You two have been awfully quiet,” he stepped over to the tin trash can to discard the bloody bandages he was holding.  He grabbed a clipboard and stared at it for a second before nodding slowly.  “Let’s get you some food and water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eleven could not stop staring into his eyes as he gently wiped the blood from under her nose.  His presence was something out of a dream.  Not a nightmare like she usually had.  A real dream where only the most unrealistically beautiful things happened.  His presence was enough to distract her almost entirely from whatever Dr. Brenner was doing to her leg (she knew she wouldn’t want to know).  But she couldn’t miss the way Mike’s eyes would soften in response to any sort of indication of pain on her part.  The light comforting sensation of his hand on her arm steadied her to the point where she almost forgot where she was for a moment.  Her heart dropped when Brenner finally finished bandaging her leg and took Mike away to get her food and water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> exceptionally hungry and thirsty, but she had survived long enough already and a few extra minutes with Mike wouldn’t kill her.  Luckily after about 10 minutes he returned carrying her flimsy metal tray, but this time he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“James...you’re back?” she spoke up when that familiar mop of black hair and those beautiful freckles reentered her room.  When she had heard Brenner call him that she was taken aback.  He had an alias and everything.  Her hope grew that his plan, whatever it was, would actually work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there Eleven.  I-uh...I have food for you,” he spoke in a tone that was anxious; unsure.  He looked strikingly uncomfortable in his slightly oversized lab coat.  Like a child playing dress up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is...Papa...coming back?”  she asked him, trying to push down the hope that it would just be Mike.  Things didn’t ever work out like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh...um...no.  Dr. Brenner had some paperwork he was behind on and asked me to make sure you ate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not coming?” her heart thundered.  This could be it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  He said not to bother him for the next few hours and to get to know you,” Mike spoke, clearly still playing his character.  But when his words hit her ears a flood of relief like a cold stream filled her whole being to the brim.  Immediately she released the breath she had been holding.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh good…” she breathed, as her muscles slowly released their tension, “Mike-,” she began but had to stop in response to the way his eyes seemed to grow to the size of golf balls.  He pressed his finger to his lips as he rushed over and set the tray down on her lap.  His concern was so perfectly adorable and it reminded her of everything she loved about him.  “Mike,” she reached out and steadied him by grabbing the sides of his forearms.  He looked down at her like she was crazy.  “There are no, um, mi-cro-phones.  They can’t a-a-fford it.  Only camera.” She hoped she used the right word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then a relieved kind of desperation came over his face, and he began to lean down to hug her.  Panic saturated her senses for a moment.  “Mike we can’t—” and she could see it click on his head.  He looked at her with wide eyes and said, “Wait...if there’s a camera we shouldn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-Right.  So we can’t...only talking,” she mumbled, wishing so badly that she could hold him.  Wishing she could be held by him.  Wishing she could disappear to Mike’s basement in her little blanket fort and feel safe again.  What she wouldn’t give to feel safe again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike froze for a moment and played off his almost-hug as if he were adjusting her sheets to pull them further up, but he let himself linger as his eyes wandered worriedly over her face, clearly trying to assess her current health.  She knew he couldn’t be happy about what he was seeing.  Pale skin and chapped lips.  A dehydrated, sleep deprived sunken mess with tangled hair and a bloody leg.  Of course she was self conscious.  A ball of shame sat in her stomach like a pile of bricks.  She didn’t want him to see her this way.  She somehow felt that what he was seeing was a much less…human version of herself.  Deprived of everything that made her her own self. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he finished scanning her over he said, “So...wait...as long as we don’t look like we’re saying anything suspicious then we can say anything?” he whispered to her, giving her one last once over before sitting back down in the rigid chair beside her bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eleven nodded, as she thought about how to begin telling him of all the terrible things Papa had done to her just since the night of Starcourt.  Should she mention the shocks...or the way they reopened her leg?  How he had made her try to access her powers to the point of incapacitation?  Had he pieced together the solitary confinement she just escaped?  As she looked at the hopeful expression on her boyfriend’s face she was overcome with the instinct not to burden him with details that could only make him unbearably sad.  She didn’t think she could handle that, seeing him hurt any more for her sake.  But he spoke before she could decide what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“El,” he sighed, fiddling with his hands anxiously.  “I...I’m so sorry this happened.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you and I’m sorry you’re stuck in this nightmare again.  I wish more than anything I could take all of this away and you wouldn’t have to see that...that </span>
  <em>
    <span>demon </span>
  </em>
  <span>ever again.  I-I just want you to know that I’m gathering as much information as I can to help you escape.  Everyone’s helping—all our friends and Hopper and Mrs. Byers—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—H-Hopper?”  Her throat felt dry once more.  “Mike...he’s...he’s gone,” her voice quivered but she didn’t care.  She closed her eyes and tried to stifle the liquid grief that began to pool in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Oh my gosh El I’m so sorry!  You didn’t know?  He’s alive.  He said </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>were the one who got him out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was like her breath was sucked away.  Everything stilled.  The world skidded to a halt.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Alive?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was stuck in the Upside Down but he said you got him out somehow...that you created a doorway.  That he heard your voice!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You lie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?! No! El I’d never lie to you about something like this.  You mean you don’t remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head.  She didn’t remember at all.  But she had done many things with her powers without realizing it.  It was possible.  She could have done it.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Alive.  He was alive.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  A smile broke out on her face and she wiped her tears away as a shaky laugh erupted from her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hop is helping?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike smiled the most beautiful smile, full of comfort and reassurance.  “Yeah.  He’s the one I report back to at the end of the day.  He misses you like crazy.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>miss you like crazy.  I wish I could take you away from this hellscape right now.”  She didn’t miss the way his leg was bouncing.  The energy that was between the two of them.  The desire to touch, to feel that the other person was still there, to get lost in each other for a moment...it was overwhelming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she couldn’t help but feel warm inside in response to his words.  Her world that had been so dark was now lit up by the most powerful light.  Hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you too, Mike,” she whispered as she let her gaze fall on those precious freckles she loved so much.  His beautiful fluffy black hair she liked to run her fingers through.  His lips that used to kiss away her tears.  It hit her how selfless he was just to be here right now.  “But...you don’t have to be here.  It’s dan-gerous.  I don’t want you to die...Papa wants me alive.  I’ll make it.  If he finds out about you—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—Don’t worry about me.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Please don’t worry about me.  You’re the one who’s being treated like a lab rat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, Mike,” she pleaded with him, her voice deathly serious.  It was such a confusing mixture of comfort and fear to have Mike in front of her like this.  His presence reminded her to survive, but it also reminded her of how much danger he was in.  And losing Mike was far more terrifying than any physical pain anyone could put her through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t let that happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t say that—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—Yes I can!” Mike exploded frantically, his bouncing leg finally coming to a halt.  “I won’t die because I’m not letting him torture you in here for the rest of your life!  When I leave for good, you’re coming with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words twirled around her ears like a song of salvation.  She was lost for words.  Could it be possible to be loved this much?  Did her life really hold that kind of value?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He continued, “I...I just need some more time to gather everything Murray needs to get this lab and all of these programs completely shut down.  It’s hard trying to find what I need.  And I still need a map of this place.  I’ve been describing the layout to our friends and they’ve been making maps but if I could get a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> one…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa always used to keep a map in his office...I don’t know where.  I don’t know how you would get in.”  El did her best to reach back into her memory banks and remember where he kept his maps.  It was so long ago…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter.  I won’t need it until later.  There’s one thing I wanna ask you to do, but I wanna make sure you know I’m not going to judge you no matter what you do, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For now can you do your best to make Brenner happy?  I’m trying to make him think that me talking to you will make you listen to him better, and then hopefully he’ll let us have more one on one time and we can work together to finish this.  Is that okay?  I know he does horrible things and I don’t even know what all I’m asking you to do so if you’re not comfortable doing—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—Yes.  It’s okay Mike.  I can do it.”  She nearly laughed at his rambling, it was so very Mike.  Such a strikingly childish moment in the middle of a situation that was anything but childish.  She smiled at him as she watched the wheels spin in his head before he a smile broke out on his face too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was...rambling again, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Usually I’d kiss you, but unfortunately I have to eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>mess,” she grinned at her lovable goof and turned her attention to the grey slop in her bowl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe </span>
  </em>
  <span>they expect you to eat that!  It smells like hot garbage!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It tastes like it too,” she said very seriously, and then they stared in a deeply comical silence for a moment before both erupting into laughter.  It felt good to just laugh.  It felt like El hadn’t laughed in ages, and she missed the feathery light feeling it gave her.  Freedom.  She closed her eyes for a moment before whispering, “Don’t leave me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to go.  I don’t want this to end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“El, I have to leave.  I gotta go so we can get you out of here.  I wish I didn’t have to leave you.  I so badly wish—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—Then...then promise you’ll be back.  Please.”  She didn’t want him to leave and have to wonder if she’d ever see him again.  Not after she just got him back even for just a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His warm eyes softened as his gaze took her in, “Jane Hopper, I promise I will come back for you.  Always and forever.  You have to trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friends don’t lie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Friends don’t lie.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What did we think?  Is this terrible?  I've been struggling lately but I am doing my best!  Mike is going to do his best to be able to see El as much as he can so that they can talk and plan together, and she can help him with some of his undercover business!  Also if you guys have any suggestions let me know because I always need more inspiration.  Writer's block is rough!</p><p>Thank you for the wonderful comments!  I never would have kept this story going so long without all of the lovely encouragement and validation from you all!  It means the world to me you have no idea!</p><p>ALSO I have created a Tumblr side blog for this fic @deja-vu-strangerthings so if you'd like to ask for headcanons or discuss the characters with me there please stop by!</p><p>&lt;3 Stay lovely people!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Shatter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>T R I G G E R   W A R N I N G: SEXUAL ASSAULT</p><p>El has a secret she never asked for.</p><p>T R I G G E R   W A R N I N G: SEXUAL ASSAULT</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you guys for the wonderful comments! You are always making me day and inspiring me.  Unfortunately this chapter is immensely dark and difficult to read because of the traumatic subject matter.  If you feel you could be triggered please prioritize your own mental health above all else.</p><p>That being said I tried to keep it from getting too graphic, because I don't believe in sensationalizing sexual abuse.  Even so, TRIGGER WARNING, once again.</p><p>Without further ado here is the chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Over the next week or so, things improved for El.  Brenner had her do all kinds of things, but he mainly stuck to finding individuals and listening into important conversations.  Occasionally he asked her to lift heavy objects or break down barriers.  No new territory so far, and she was thankful.  But more importantly, she would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>let Mike down.  She did everything in her control to make Brenner happy.  She bit back negative comments.  She pushed herself much farther than she knew she should in order to accomplish whatever task she was given.  She even threw in comments to make him think ‘James’ had made her value her life at the lab much more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And as a result she got to see Mike one on one every day at her lunchtime.  It became the one thing that got her through the day.  It became the one thought in her mind when she was delirious in the void, searching for countless Russian men she did not care to listen to.  It was what kept her from snapping again.  And Brenner seemed to grow kinder.  He began to resemble the man who once made her feel safe as a child.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her life was not </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> by any standard either.  She ate the same grey bowl of mush for every meal, she wore the same thin hospital gown at all times, and she was made to walk on her left leg despite insisting that she could barely even stand on it.  But Mike made everything worth it.  Her heart would soar when she saw his face, and as their friendship became a more accepted thing and they were no longer strangers to each other in Brenner’s eyes, holding hands was not something they needed to avoid any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike told her that if Brenner somehow saw him holding her hand on the camera and asked about it, he’d write it off as an easy way to comfort her.  Simply using the persuasive tool of affection to get what they wanted.  Eleven was perfectly okay with any excuse that let them touch.  It was through that physical connection she was grounded at lunchtime every day.  She would sit with her hand in his as he discussed what he had been gathering, what his next goal was, and how she could help.  But first he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> ask how she was feeling.  He’d check on her leg, give her a quick scan with his eyes, and flash a warm smile.  She was continually floored by his dedication when it came to loving her.  She was overwhelmed by the feeling that she simply didn’t deserve a boy like Mike Wheeler.  But nevertheless she was endlessly grateful to have him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike seemed to be on a roll with the information he was gathering, and from what she heard they were really building a solid stack of evidence against the lab to get it permanently shut down.  Of course, she was told that they’d have to get her out before it was shut down so that she wouldn’t be whisked off to some other location.  Her recovery was central to this plan, because they would need the help of her powers to burst down doors, take down giant security officers, clear their exit route, and stay awake long enough to get both her and Mike out safely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was because Brenner was in such a good mood that Mike was so easily able to gather what he needed.  He thanked El every day for doing her best to keep him happy and preoccupied, which is exactly why she didn’t tell him when things started to change for the worst.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It began with her tests.  She would do something well, like detonate a bomb they set up far away with her mind.  Brenner would smile and tell her how good she was.  How proud he was.  He would put his hand on her shoulder….then her back...then her waist...and suddenly her heart would start to pound and her hands would begin to shake and she couldn’t even bring herself to speak because suffocating memories began to burn their way to the surface of her brain.  Memories that were so dark and so damaging she had locked them somewhere almost unreachable in the back of her head until now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It started that way, with lingering touches that came and went.  Moments that caused adrenaline to flush her system like ice water in mere seconds.  She didn’t want to talk to Mike about this, because he was doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>so well.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  He was working so hard to help her escape and she was helping by cooperating with Brenner.  It was what she promised she would do.  And she wouldn’t break a promise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when Mike would ask how she was, she would smile and say things weren’t so bad.  The tests weren’t so bad.  No mention of the lingering hands or the paralyzing effect it had on her.  And he would smile and thank her for being so strong.  He would praise her to the highest extent.  “You’re incredible, El.  You have no idea how much you’re helping me, and you have no idea how much I admire you.  You’re the strongest person I know, and I’m so sorry you have to suffer in this place, but I promise it will be worth it.  If it’s the last thing I do I’ll make sure you can feel safe again.  I mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And after a speech like that she could hardly bring up her discomfort with the way Brenner was touching her.  It wasn’t even that bad in the first place.  She could carry on just fine if it would help Mike.  She could do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it didn’t stop there.  Soon enough it came time for her to bathe once more, and that was when spotty nightmarish memories slowly began to take shape in the present.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s time for a bath,” he said to her one morning.  It was shortly after she had woken up and she was still groggy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Bath?  I thought I didn’t need to use it anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not The Bath, </span>
  <em>
    <span>a</span>
  </em>
  <span> bath.  You’re getting dirty and you should change into a new gown too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh...to clean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Eleven, to clean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words sent bright red sirens blaring in her brain as she clutched her stiff sheets.  The way she had felt when she woke up and smelled the lemon body wash on her skin...the nauseous feeling that had curdled in her stomach was returning.  “I...I can do it on my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be silly, it’s okay to get a little help.  That leg of yours will give you all kinds of trouble.  I can do it for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so she did as he said, because she didn’t want to upset him.  She limped her way behind Brenner to the large metal door that led to the washroom.  It wasn’t a large room, however.  It had a cold metal tub and a sprayer with those horrible greenish tiled walls.  And in that room with the horrible greenish tiled walls she </span>
  <em>
    <span>remembered</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  As she sat shivering in the tub with her eyes squeezed shut and his fingers running over her skin like the sharp talons of a predatory bird, she remembered in excruciating detail what he used to do to her.  His hands were perhaps his cruelest weapon, and she had to retreat into her mind in order to escape the blistering terror of what he was doing to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know how long it lasted.  She didn’t move an inch the whole time.  She was only aware that by the end of it her nostrils were filled with the pungent citrus of the lemon body wash, and her eyes were puffy from tears.  She barely registered the rest of the day.  At some point she was dried off.  At some point she was placed in a new hospital gown.  But the </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his rough hands on her skin never left.  Even after he left her alone in her room all the way until lunch, she could still feel him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike came in that day and he knew instantly that something was off.  She could see it in his eyes, in the way that he rushed to her in concern, the way he set the tray down on the side of the bed rather than in her lap like usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“El...El are you okay?  What’s wrong, what’s wrong?  Did something happen?”  He laid a hand on her shoulder but she involuntarily flinched at his touch.  His brows drew together in concern and he pulled back with immense worry in his dark eyes.  “Hey...hey...El please look at me.  What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she couldn’t tell him.  Because until Mike got everything he needed and until her leg healed enough, they couldn’t break out.  And she didn’t want to see the look on his face...didn’t want to share the nauseating burden she didn’t even know how to explain aloud.  She wanted to step out of her body and send it away from her.  She wanted the burning scent of citrus to leave her nostrils.  She wanted her hands to stop shaking.  They still hadn’t.  “I-I’m fine,” she tried, and she forced herself to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he was not quick to believe her.  He sighed and shook his head as he pulled up a chair and sat down, “No.  No you’re not okay, you’re shaking like crazy.  El, please talk to me.  Can I hold your hand?  Is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wordlessly nodded and laced her trembling fingers through his, all while trying impossibly hard to keep the tears from resurfacing.  She was not going to make things harder by telling him.  He was doing so well.  He didn’t need this to slow him down.  Maybe when they were both safe one day and she finally found words that could explain how damaged she felt...maybe then.  But not now.  “I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“El, please...please don’t do this.  I want to help you, but if you don’t talk to me I can’t-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-It’s really...it’s not a big deal,” she sniffled between her words, successfully reigning in her tears by chewing on her cheek.  “I just had a bad dream.  I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She saw his face relax a little in response to her words, and the panic written on his features died down.  Now he just looked sad.  She hated when he was sad.  She hated when </span>
  <em>
    <span>she made him feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> sad.  “I’m so sorry...I...I know this place is horrible.  I know you’re trying really hard to keep Brenner distracted and...and you’re doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> incredible,” he squeezed her shaky hand,  “And I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel being trapped here.  But I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> be here for you.  Awake or asleep, I won’t let these nightmares haunt you forever, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She squeezed his hand back and forced a smile, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But smiling grew progressively more difficult in the coming weeks.  What she hoped against all hope would be a one time thing became a pattern.  The lingering touches after tests, the invasive trips to the bath, they all became routine.  And the longer it went on the harder it was to hide from Mike.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things only got worse.  She would bathe twice a week, but it seemed that Brenner decided that wasn’t enough for him.  And so he started taking her to his office.  It was in his office that this began for her as a child.  She would stare at the map on the wall while he touched her.  She studied it to escape her body and to, eventually, escape the lab.  That was how she knew where to go when she originally broke out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment she saw a map on the smooth white wall something snapped inside of her and she began to sob.  But that didn’t change anything.  He was so seemingly unaffected by her pain that it made her question if everything he ever told her was a lie.  He always claimed he did everything because he cared about her, but this kind of violation couldn’t be explained away.  Hands on her chest, her stomach, her thighs, and then...So she looked at the map again and tried to mentally escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even so, when lunch would roll around she would still smile at Mike.  She learned to retreat into herself and put on a brave face.  She learned to bury the pain deep down and tell Mike anything that would make him stop worrying.  And it made her sick, because she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> friends didn’t lie.  She knew it was wrong.  But she felt filthy and disgusting and she couldn’t bear to show him that.  So she kept smiling.  She kept pretending.  She kept holding on to the promise that soon they would both be safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it all came crashing down very abruptly one night.  She was in the middle of a fitful sleep when Dr. Brenner came in to wake her up.  Come to his office, he told her.  It was time again, he told her.  Even as that familiar spike of icy cold adrenaline hit she followed him.  Even in her groggy state she was not free of him.  He turned on a small desk light when they entered, and then the regular routine began.  His weaponized hands again brought her to tears, and just when she thought they were done like always he did something different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He unbuttoned his pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh-what are you-?” she sniffled as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was going to be something new, he told her.  It was going to hurt, he told her, but that was what was supposed to happen.  She was parylized.  Frozen in place, even as she was pinned to his desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh,” he shushed her, “Papa loves you,” he whispered as she felt something stiff poking between her legs.  Blinding terror overcame her.  Fight or flight set in but she could only tremble violently in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he counted to three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>        Two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 Three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And her world shattered.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So when I told you it would be dark...we're there.  I hope it wasn't too much for you guys, but please know that if you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual violence, it is not your fault.  You are worthy of love.  You are not defined by what someone has done to you.  And there ARE ways to get help. </p><p>The National US Sexual Assault Hotline is: 1-800-656-4673</p><p>Feel free to drop a comment and let me know how we're feeling.  El's going to have a dark path going forward and poor Mike has no idea what's happening.  Tune in next time to hear from Mike.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Held</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mike finally finds out what Brenner has been doing to El.<br/>Hopper and Mike have a chat.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So as ya'll can see the rating and warnings of this story have changed, so if they make you feel at all uncomfortable there will be no judgement whatsoever if you discontinue to read.  Once again please prioritize your own mental health.  That being said there are themes of sexual violence being explored in this story and going forward that is important for you to know. TRIGGER WARNING as always.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of the interaction on this story, it is really incredible to hear from all of you!  As requested here is a big long chapter about how Mike is handling the situation.  We are moving towards an escape SO soon ya'll!</p>
<p>On with the story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mike had been growing optimistic.  Sneaking around Brenner had gotten significantly easier with Eleven excelling at every single test, effectively distracting him by providing him lots of intercepted Russian conversations to sort through.  And getting to see her every day at lunch time was the icing on the cake.  He looked forward to seeing her smile.  It seemed to grow brighter and brighter for a while, more hopeful every day than the last.  He started to see that bright light shining through in her beautiful brown eyes once more, and it made butterflies flutter in his heart.  It reminded him of those fleeting summer days where all they did was talk and laugh.  But then, out of nowhere, Eleven’s disposition shifted and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> something was very wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It began when he came in with her tray one day, expecting her face to light up as it always did when she saw him.  Anxious to hold her hand once more and chat about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span> they were to having everything they needed.  What he didn’t expect was what he actually saw.  Eleven was trembling in bed with puffy eyes and blanched skin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One troubling conversation later he was led to believe she just had a bad dream, which eased his nerves a bit.  He had understood that she had nightmares, so it would make sense that she would get them when she was living in the very place she usually had nightmares about.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made sense, but it still broke his heart to see her so visibly shaken up over a dream that was likely based in reality.  He held her shaky hand and promised he would always be there for her, because that was truly all he could do.  He would fight off her nightmares himself any day to bring peaceful sleep to the girl he loved more than the life he was living.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And so he continued gathering.  He got an important file on El that detailed the various horrifying experiments she had been a part of.  When those documents went public they wouldn’t have any claim over her whatsoever.  Their dark secrets would be exposed and his love would be free.  Of course she had to get away before they could release anything.  There was a very real danger to exposing secret government programs while an innocent person was still in their grasp.  They could do anything to cover their trail, even if it meant killing that innocent person.  So they would have to get her out first.  But needless to say, he was gathering information faster than ever before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Soon,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he told himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>soon we’ll be back home and she can be with Hop again and we can just listen to music in her room and laugh again.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Soon they would be able to put this trauma behind them.  And his patience was wearing thin.  He got tired of hearing Brenner talk proudly about using his girlfriend as a weapon.  He got tired of watching him make her walk on an injury she clearly struggled to stand on.  He wanted to scream at the man nearly every day, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Look at what you’ve done!  You’re sick!  You’re a monster!  How can you live with yourself?!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he played the game.  He smiled and pretended to agree with the man’s abhorrent statements.  He did the man’s bidding and ran around the building to deliver anything he needed.  He did what Murray told him to do, no matter how hot his blood boiled.  No matter how exhausted Eleven looked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because she </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> look exhausted.  Overworked, he thought.  Drained from power overuse and nightmares and a gnarly looking injury that was healing too slowly because of her lack of rest.  At first he thought that was all it was, as terrible as it all was.  But as each day came to pass he started to notice something </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> about the girl he was here to set free.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His concerns only grew worse after their first suspect conversation.  He would carry her tray to her room and his whole body would grow cold at the ways she began to change.  It was subtle at first.  She was jumpier, flightier.  More alert.  He didn’t fail to notice the way her eyes would anxiously dart to the door every five minutes either.  But even through all of that, every time he would say to her, “El...I’m really worried about you.  If something’s wrong you can tell me,” she would dismiss him with a forced smile.  It didn’t reach her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” she would tell him.  “Don’t worry.  Keep working.  We’re close.  We’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>so close.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>worry.  He didn’t think there would be a day in which he </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>worry about her.  But that worry allowed him to start noticing things.  Noticing small little details that were very easy to overlook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She seemed especially shaken up when her hair was wet.  At first he thought it was due to the sensory deprivation tank she had told him about in the past, until he remembered that she no longer needed to use it.  He was left in utter confusion as to what kind of water based experiment was affecting her on such a fundamental level.  But it didn’t matter what it was, only that it was harming the person he loved.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> was enough to further stoke the raging fire in his chest whenever he saw Dr. Brenner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he had a lot on his plate, and Murray’s assignments weren’t always easy.  He had to talk his way out of difficult situations all the time.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why do you have that file?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  I’m supposed to follow up on a typo on page seven.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Who said you could be in here?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  I’m Dr. Brenner’s intern.  I’m sorry, this building is super complicated.  I just got lost.  Do you know where the copier is?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In all of the chaos of his stressful missions, he was unable to keep tabs on where she was at for most of the day, which ate him up inside.  He just had to remember that what he was doing was important.  It wasn’t until he was incredibly close to being done collecting, that he discovered the all consuming heart-stopping horror of what had been happening behind the weak smile his love flashed his way every afternoon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had just finished copying a document about the complete list of experiments Dr. Brenner was involved in, and the adrenaline of successfully sneaking around under bright fluorescent lights hadn’t quite worn off.  He was excited to talk to El about his accomplishment, but when he stepped into her room she was not curled up in her sheets like usual.  No, she wasn’t in her bed...or in the room at all.  That’s when he heard a quiet voice from behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mike.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned around to see a very stealthy, panicked Eleven staring at him.  She was not smiling today.  There was danger in her eyes.  There was a darkness there so potent it frightened him.  “El, what are you doing-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come with me,” was all she said to him, her eyes boring into his soul.  He could only nod, though a million questions were beginning to run through his mind.  What was she doing?  Why did she look like she hadn’t slept at all last night.  Why would she choose to stand on her leg when she wasn’t being made to?  Why were they leaving her room???  But her eyes held something deadly, and he could only follow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned and peeked out of the room, glancing down both hallways before she whispered, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Now,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> and grabbed his hand to drag him along with her.  He was so confused, he didn’t even have time to think about how dangerous this was.  He could get killed if whatever this was went wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she took him down a very short hall as fast as her legs would carry her.  There was something off about how she was limping today.   Suddenly they halted to a stop at a very specific door.  She tilted her head to unlock it, and pulled him into the room before pressing the door shut and locking it up again from the inside.  It looked like an unused office space with no furniture.  Just empty white walls and a dusty wooden floor.  The only light came from an old lightbulb hanging from the ceiling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was sure he looked comical with his mouth parted in confusion as he stared at her completely dumbfounded.  But he didn’t have time to speak before her words sliced through the silence.  “Mike, we have to leave.  We have to leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>soon.”</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Her voice cracked as she spoke, and he instinctively reached to cup her cheek with his right hand.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“El, I need you to breathe and we can talk this through.  We can’t leave just yet because I still need--”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“</span><em><span>No.</span></em><span> You don’t understand.  We have to leave </span><em><span>soon</span></em><span>.  I can’t stay here,” she spoke frantically, as if they could be busted any moment.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>He mentally panicked.  She was having some sort of nervous breakdown and he had no idea how to handle it.  “I-I know...I know this place is a prison, but we just need </span>
  <em>
    <span>one more document</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it would be a bonus if we could get an actual map.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But at the mention of a map she stilled and squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head.  “Map...in his office.  We don’t need it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His rapidly beating heart was only accelerating in response to her sudden shift in behavior.  The light from the single yellow lightbulb cast shadows on her face, as though she were cloaked in darkness.  “I mean the Party has done their best to draw up maps from what I’ve described to them but none of them are completely accurate.  I think it would be good, safer even, to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But this made her even more impatient, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“No, Mike.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  I...I remember the map,” she spoke with a shuddering sigh.  “It is mem-or-ized.  I can draw it for you, but we </span>
  <em>
    <span>have to leave,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she stepped closer to him and wrapped her trembling hands around the sides of his forearms with a grip that was surprisingly strong, insistent.  “Papa does </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad things</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me, Mike...really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really, bad</span>
  </em>
  <span> things,” she whispered to him, barely loud enough to hear.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that his heart skidded to a halt and his stomach dropped clear through the floor.  As she looked up at him with glassy eyes, he noticed her lip was trembling.  He breathlessly whispered, “El...what kind of </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad things?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” as she released him from her tremulous grasp and proceeded to wrap her arms around herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked down to the floor and shook her head.  There was a deep crease in her brow.  “I...he…” but she paused and shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey...hey it’s okay.  Whatever it is, I’m right here,” he whispered to her, trying to draw her attention back up to his eyes without touching her.  It didn’t work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It...it s-started in the bath...” she struggled with her words, fighting against labored breaths...still not looking at him.  But when those words met his ears he knew what she meant.  He knew </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what she meant, and a wave of nausea rolled in his stomach like a bowling ball.  He was speechless for a moment, the air knocked completely out of his lungs.  But as he came back to himself he realized she was still desperately searching for words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I...hold your hands?” he asked her softly, his voice sounded strained.  She finally met his eyes once again.  Now he could see it.  The shame.  Humiliation written all over her face: the tension in her brow, the delicate trembling of her frown, the clenching and unclenching of her jaw.  He fought against the tears that burned in his eyes as his heart cracked and shattered into a million tiny glass pieces.  He would do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>to never have to see that broken look ever again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and slid her hands in his with a shaky squeeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stilled for a moment as he tried to figure out how he was going to ask her what he feared was true.  “El, I-I just want you to know before I ask you this, that no matter what your answer is...it will all be okay.  I’ll make sure of it.  Alright?” He kept his voice soft.  Light.  She was shaking and her grip on his hands tightened.  “Do...do you remember that conversation we had that night about...about touching?  About how </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> get to choose how and where people are allowed to touch you?  How...how that’s the rule?”  She nodded, her expression shifting.  “Did he…” he paused, wishing more than anything that he didn’t even have to consider asking this question.  But he had to know.  “Did Dr. Brenner break that rule?” and this time it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> voice that broke.  His chest felt so tight he thought he might pass out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A single deeply shameful nod was her only response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, El,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the words flew from his mouth as the pain in his chest sharpened to a vicious point and he instinctively squeezed her hands tighter.  Then all at once she broke.  She closed her eyes and tears spilled over her cheeks as a pained sob tore its way out of her chest.  Mike fought the hurricane of violent vengeful hatred for the remorseless monster who hurt the one person he couldn’t live without.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m going to kill him, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought to himself.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t care what happens to me.  He’s gonna die a slow and agonizing death for what he’s done.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>But he didn’t say that out loud.  He knew all this violence made her feel ill.  Instead, he gently drew her into his arms and Eleven swiftly latched onto him, pressing her face into his chest as she began to unravel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wrapped his arms protectively around her and bore most of her body weight as the two of them sank slowly to the floor.  The feel of her soft hand against his cheek made his eyes flutter shut.  His mind felt like a spinning carnival ride, a jumble of anger and heartache and </span>
  <em>
    <span>guilt</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Guilt that this was happening while he was supposed to be looking out for her.  And now he couldn’t take away those experiences.  He couldn’t erase the horrible things Brenner did to her, as much as he desperately wished he could.  He could only hold her in his arms while she sobbed, and whisper comforting words in her ear as he gently rubbed circles on her back.  He could only press feathery light kisses on her forehead and let her freely express what she’d been bottling up for too long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  It hurt him on a fundamental level to witness something so gut wrenching.  To listen to his whole world cry, and be unable to eradicate the cause of her pain.  It broke him.  And although he knew on some level he was supposed to be strong for her, he couldn’t keep the tears from escaping his eyes and making themselves known on his cheeks while he buried his face in her hair.  His chest shuddered as he tearfully whispered every promise imaginable.  “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re safe.  Shh...shh I-I’ve got you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he sniffed and pulled her closer in spite of the growing wet spot on his chest, as if he could erase her trauma if he just held her close enough.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re gonna get him, I promise...it’s okay.  You’re gonna be okay...Just...just breathe with me alright?  Let me carry this for you.”  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When her sobs slowed and turned to sniffles, they sat in silence for a while.  Closed eyes and wet cheeks, just holding each other.  Mike had forgotten what it was like to have her in his arms.  To know that for just a moment she was safe and they had each other.  For an instant it was just the two of them.  It was the one thing that held him together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, Mike interrupted the comfortable silence, “I’m so sorry, Eleven.</span>
  <em>
    <span>” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he sniffled, running his fingers through her tangled hair mindlessly.  She was still tucked safely in his arms with her head leaning on his chest, listening to his heart.  “I know I said there’s one more document Murray wants, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t care</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  I’m getting you out as soon as humanly possible, okay?  Whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.  I promise you, El.  I promise.  I mean it with my whole heart we’re getting you out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Mike,” she spoke quietly into the soft material of his shirt.  Her arms squeezed him a little tighter, and his heart simply soared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, El.  More than you’ll ever know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Mike got home that night, to say he was exhausted was an understatement.  He was completely and utterly drained.  His eyes were puffy from tears, his head hurt and he couldn’t shake that disgustingly slimy sick feeling in his gut when he had to leave El behind, knowing there was a chance Brenner could come back for her that night.  It was enough to make his throat tighten as his shoes squeaked against the tile.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he have to leave?  She hadn’t wanted to let go of him.  The calm that had fallen over the two of them in that empty office space after every tear was dry held tremendous weight.  Because they could hold each other for a moment.  They were free of pain for just a moment.  But when they had to sneak back to her room she didn’t want to let go.  “Don’t leave...please don’t leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’ll come back for me,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she whispered desperately in his arms as they stood on wobbly legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just tilted her chin up and captured her chapped lips in a gentle, yet emotion filled kiss.  When they finally broke apart he cradled her face in his hands.  His whole world. “I could never leave you for long, Eleven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thought about how badly he wanted to run back to her the entire drive home.  Steve tried to start up a conversation but all it took was one look to let him know Mike was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the mood for talking.  He was still trying to process his day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he had his regular briefing with Hopper he grew anxious.  He was going to demand they move their escape plan forward even with the accepted additional risks it would pose.  He had made a promise that she was getting out of there and he fully intended to deliver on it, whether or not the Party was on his side.  Because now that he knew what was happening; now that he had looked her in the eye and seen the darkness there, the desperation, there wasn’t a thing that could stop him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he knew he had to tell Hopper about what El had shared with him today.  He just had no idea where to begin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geez kid you look like a nightmare.  What happened today?” Hopper asked him when Mike sat down at Hop’s kitchen table with a slump.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chief, we have to move the escape plan forward.  She can’t stay in there much longer,” he sighed as he looked across the table at the haggard man.  He clearly hadn’t been doing well either.  His beard hadn’t been trimmed and the dark circles around his eyes spoke of many sleepless nights.  Mike eyed an open bottle of whiskey on the counter behind him.  No.  He hadn’t been doing well at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know it’s stressful, kid, but we need to make sure the plan is completely ironed out before we take a big risk.  The maps we have are okay, and if worst comes to worst we can make them work, but until we have a real map there are some serious risks to the current plan that could get us all killed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike shook his head and reached into his pocket, feeling the folded piece of paper crinkling against his fingers.  He pulled it out and unfolded it on the table, sliding it across so the Chief could see it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“New map.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Drawn?” He raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“By El.  She had it memorized.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That took him aback.  He shifted in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair.  “She had it </span>
  <em>
    <span>memorized?  </span>
  </em>
  <span>How can we trust that?  We need a real map, Mike.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What, so she can move stuff with her mind and access a second shadow dimension but memorizing a </span>
  <em>
    <span>map </span>
  </em>
  <span>is unrealistic?” Mike felt himself growing frustrated.  He was not going to waste any more time trying to get into that man’s office.  He was not going on any more document runs.  He was going to brief El on the escape plan tomorrow, and the next day they were going to get her out.  He would make sure of it.  “And that </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> a real map.  Besides, we can’t wait any longer.  She’s...El is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay, Chief...not at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Chief pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed heavily.  “I...I know,” his voice rasped.  “She’s not going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> as long as she’s in that building, but we can’t be dumb about this—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Mike had enough.  He had thoughts tumbling through his head like a bucket of mixed Legos, and he was struggling to put the image of his love with tear stained cheeks into words.  “—I don’t think you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> know, Chief.  When I came into her room today she wasn’t in bed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper looked irritated when he was interrupted but promptly stilled when he heard she wasn’t in her bed.  “She wasn’t?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.  She was hiding behind the door waiting for me.  A-and I couldn’t figure anything out until she dragged me down the hall into this old empty office space and told me outright what...what Brenner was doing to her,” Mike felt his heart rate begin to quicken once more.  This never got easier.  Never got easier to think about.  Never got easier to speak about.  And the slimy ill feeling in his gut only further solidified as he remembered how he left her there.  Alone with a monster.  He leaned his elbows against the table and buried his hands in his hair.  “It’s so bad, Chief.  It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Hopper stayed silent.  It took Mike a moment to realize he wasn’t about to speak.  He hesitantly lifted his head from his hands to look at the older man, only to find himself staring into the face of death.  His face was red and his jaw was set.  He seemed to know something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chief-?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he spoke.  Slow and deliberate, his voice laced with something dangerous. “Mike...is that man...</span>
  <em>
    <span>touching</span>
  </em>
  <span> my daughter?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike was immediately taken aback.  He hadn’t mentioned that </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and yet... Mike nodded with a grimace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“—Mother</span>
  <em>
    <span>FUCKER!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Suddenly Hopper stood from his chair and slammed his fists on the table with a shout.  “Sick fucking piece of shit Brenner—,” he grumbled, as he turned from the table and reached for the open bottle of whiskey, promptly pouring a generous amount into a glass before returning to his seat with a huff.  He took a large gulp upon sitting back down.  Mike just sat and stared, unsure what to make of anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She told you this?” Hopper looked at him with the eyes of a heartbroken father.  He could barely even hold eye contact with him, his gaze was so intense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper’s anger blinded him for a moment.  He regretted exploding in front of Mike like that, especially because he could see just how fragile the boy looked right now.  The father in him quickly assumed control before he could spiral into one of his depressive fits.  Now wasn’t the time.  So he took a swig of whiskey and asked Mike if she had told him.  If she had confirmed herself what he had never heard aloud from his daughter, but knew to be true.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Mike didn’t look at him.  He just closed his eyes as a couple of tears trailed down his pale face.  “There’s…” he shook his head and placed his head in his hands, “There’s so much she didn’t say and...and I just know it’s all horrible and it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my fucking fault </span>
  </em>
  <span>I didn’t notice w-what was happening and I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>so scared!  I’m so fucking scared </span>
  </em>
  <span>because if we don’t get her out I just know she’s gonna do something dangerous because that’s the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only option</span>
  </em>
  <span> she has left to make him </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I’m such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span> because I told her to make that monster </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> to distract him!  And she agreed!  A-and didn’t even say anything when things got bad!  I just—” the boy cried into his hands and Hop wanted more than anything to take the unbearable pressure off of the kid’s shoulders.  He wasn’t supposed to have to worry about this.  This wasn’t his to carry.  It shouldn’t be.  And Hopper was overwhelmed by his own feelings of guilt for sending Mike into danger day after day and leading him to feel like </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>of this was his fault.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper swallowed hard as the boy cried, no longer rambling, just shaking in his seat.  Hop was exhausted from the endless planning.  He was drained from all his worry.  He was furious and frustrated and now Mike was crying and so he said the only thing that meant anything right now.  “Mike, none of this is your fault.  My daughter loves you more than...well...more than anyone in the world,” he sighed.  He knew it to be true.  It used to bother him that she would always call for Mike instead of him whenever she had a nightmare, or when she was upset, but being her dad helped him to understand that the connection she had with that boy wasn’t ordinary,  “You’re not to blame here.  You’re doing something so brave, kid.  You’re doing something I don’t think I could’ve done at your age.  Don’t worry.  We’ll move the rescue plan forward.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mike sniffled and finally looked up from his hands.  His eyes were red and puffy, but they were also filled with hope.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Really?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hop just nodded with a tight smile.  He couldn’t stand the thought of his daughter being abused another day longer.  Now was the time to act. Mike’s face lit up.  “Now...I know you’ve had a rough day, but I’d hate to send you home hungry.  I was thinking of making myself some breakfast for dinner.  Invitation’s open to join me.  Waffles sound good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sad smile found its way on the boy’s face.  “Yeah.  That sounds nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing the kid look even remotely happy for once twisted something inside of his heart.  He wished he could make it permanent.  But he would do what he could, he decided.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And so they ate, and they chatted.  And while they dug into their syrupy waffles Hopper realized how badly Mike had needed a father figure in his life.  How desperately he had been trying to be the man his father never taught him to be.  And so he told him, “You know something Kid?  I really think we got off on the wrong foot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckled as he took a sip of his milk, “That’s an understatement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopper rolled his eyes, “What I’m saying is, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched something change in the sad eyes of the kid in front of him.  Something came to life, and it filled his chest with warmth.   “Thank you.”  And he could tell he meant it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What do we think?  I really wanted to make Hopper a father figure for Mike considering his own dad doesn't really pay much attention to him, and he works so hard to be strong for everyone else.  I really wanna explore that more in the future.  Also I really can't wait to write some pure Dad Hop and Daughter El content cause they make me happy!</p>
<p>Also I wanted to highlight how hard this is for Mike too because he has so much weight on his shoulders and he has to try and be the strong one for El, but he really can't be strong all the time.  He deserves rest too.</p>
<p>But man my heart hurts for El right now and her recovery road is gonna be a bumpy one.</p>
<p>Let me know how you're feeling!  Love you guys!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading and be sure to leave a review if you'd like to see me continue this fic! Also if you have any cool ideas as to where I could take it, don't be afraid to let me know!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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